“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”
Through my own spiritual journey I myself have been hurt by the Church, and most of the time when I look at the Church I do not see the bride of Christ; I see fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I see judgment and damnation. I don’t see love, acceptance, grace, mercy, forgiveness, kindness, and self-control. If I had not found Jesus, and been captivated by his message, I would have went the Buddhist route. There is something about the logical, psychological concept of transcending consciousness of Buddhist thought resonates with my cogitative brain. The only thing that keeps me grounded in Christ is the fact that same spirit that lives in the incarnation of God, Christ Jesus, lives in me, making me one with Him. Nothing that I do can make me more righteous, more divine, more perfect, because I have already been made holy. My spirit is married with Christ’s Spirit and nothing can separate that union.
Today was our first day doing Monk Chats. Nano, Andy and I exited the café and turned right. We followed the road to main temple in the city center. We paid the 40 Baht to enter the Temple area. Andy and Nano were gung-ho on finding monks to talk to, and they b-lined straight for the yellow tents. On our walk Andy and Nano discussed how excited they were to ‘share the gospel’, they were ready to ‘take back’, and ‘bring kingdom’. I was silent on our walk. I was not ecstatic, or elated to be doing this. I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect. I had no agenda. I had no questions to ask. I was along for the ride.
As Andy and Nano hustle to the tents, I took my time meandering the Temple grounds. Observing the various Temples, the variety of Buddha statues, and taking in the visual of all the people worshipping in their own ways. After a lap, I meander into the Yellow Tents of Monk Chat where I saw Andy and Nano visibly flustered, engaged in discussion with a bigger bald British gentleman. There was a white monk in traditional orange robes sitting on the other side of the British gentleman. I sat down by the monk with no intentions. We stuck up a conversation and I got real, extremely fast, I wanted to ask questions, and the monk wanted to share his story. His name was Aaron. Aaron drew out of me that I was apart of a Christian Missionary program that goes around the world. I tried to keep that info close to my chest, but saying I knew Nano and Andy was kind of a dead give away. (Aaron knew instantly by their demeanor that they were Christians on a ‘mission’)
Aaron was quick to tell his story.
Aaron is from Wales, England and was ‘saved’ into Christianity at the tender age of 17. He moved to the States to be a part of the Gospel Music and Christian scene. For the next 20 years he rose up the fundamentalist Christian ladder, gaining wealth, prestige, and influence. He even dropped the name Oral Roberts. Seriously, this guy was up there in the ‘Christian’ circles. Yet even though he had gained everything in the world (he was living in Beverly Hills with a helicopter and wouldn’t wear a suit that was less then $2,000) he still felt miserably lost. He piped in worship music 24/7, prayed multiple hours a day and meticulously read his Bible. Throughout his Christian career he boasted he had converted thousands of people to Christ. Still he felt empty. Nothing he did made him feel closer to God. God was unattainable. He felt as if he was struggling in vain. That no matter what he did he could not gain control over his ‘sin’, and never felt intimate with God.
He understood about Jesus and grace, but the actions and attitudes of the Christians with whom he was surrounded preached hellfire and damnation to anyone who was different then them. The hypocrisy combined with feeling of never being good enough for God caused him to drop Christianity all together. A deep hatred of Christians was birthed. He figured that if Jesus wasn’t real that maybe the Hebrew God was still a thing. He packed up everything and moved to Israel to become a Rabbi. There he studied the Talmud and the Torah for 3 years, dabbling in every different type of Judaism. After all this he understood Old Testament better then any Western American Protestant Christian, but the emptiness would not leave him.
It was at this point he found the teachings of the Buddha: a path through suffering, a journey to enlightenment, and a love and compassion not found in his Christian walk.
I begin to ask if he could explain the basics of Buddhism to me, and was there a Buddhist counterpart to the religious dogma he found in Christianity.
He explained, and I tried then to repeat it back to him in my own words the three basic teachings of Buddhism.
1) Nothing material will bring you fulfillment, not a new house, not a newer younger hotter girlfriend, not a new child, not a new car, nothing will fulfill the needs of your soul.
2) Everything dies/ends; every relationship, every person, even the Earth itself will one day pass away.
These first two tenants I can totally get on board with, because they are true. Happiness and fulfillment does not come from material things, status, or titles. It is all empty air. Through Aaron’s American materialistic Christian walk he found these truths to ring true. Nothing he did brought him happiness or fulfillment, or brought him ‘closer’ to God.
Secondly, everything does die. Nothing is permanent. Not the steady job, not the perfect marriage, not the new house, not even your children, and one day I will die as well. From the moment I breathe oxygen from the outside world my body begins to die.
3) That consciousness is the only thing that is transcendent. Everything will pass away, but if we work on purifying our souls/our consciousness then one day, after many lifetimes, we will be like God. We will look at our fellow humans and feel compassion for their sufferings and attempt to make the world a better place for all peoples, and living things.
Even this I can get behind. In the Bible, Paul speaks similar truths. The whole earth groins for the sons of God to be revealed, the sons of God will bring restoration and peace.
Buddhism calls for a journey towards enlightenment, to purify the soul of all darkness (anger, bitterness, lust, rage) replacing it with nothingness. The goal of Buddhism is to become nothing, just as the universe is made up of mostly empty space. To become transcendent, to see the world the way ‘God’ / ‘Higher Power’ / ‘Eternal Consciousness’ sees the world.
Aaron noted that there are similarities of dogma in entrenched systems. Many local Thai’s want mystical Buddhist experiences, and there is corruption in all forms. No one system is perfect, yet they (as a collective community) are on a journey.
Through Aaron’s Buddhist practices and disciplines he claims to calm his mind, and through this self-reflective process he has come to a point where he has forgiven Christians. Which, he noted was the reason he could talk to me in the first place. He made a joke about the bigger bald British gentlemen sitting to his left, still vapidly engaging Andy and Nano (who both looked pissed by this time), ‘He is our Christian body guard’.
I laughed, because I knew exactly what He was talking about.
As I left Aaron he said, “may God bless you” .
I replied, “And may you continue on your path”.
As I shared my story with Aaron, about my search for truth on my spiritual pilgrimage, he felt compassion for me. He encouraged me to press in deep and ask hard questions. Seriously, I have not felt more encouraged, in a long time.
We may disagree on practice, but I believe Aaron and I are on similar journeys. We both want peace and seek understanding.
Aaron did not find peace within Christianity. In fact he found the opposite, he found striving and restlessness.
But why? Why when following the Prince of Peace did he not have peace?
After leaving the Christian walk he was disowned by most of his family. As he gave away all his earthly material stuff his Christian friends worried about his mental health. As I looked into his crystal blue eyes I did not see hatred, or a soul that was lost or going to hell. I saw a man with hurt who has worked past his pain, through the self-therapy and counseling provided for him through Buddhist practices.
Aaron, I am sorry. I want to apologize for all my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, who proclaim him with their mouth and within the same breath damn everyone different to hell. I, personally, do not want to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I do not want to judge my fellow Christian. I want to unite with them through love. It has taken me the better half of my adult life to even acknowledge other Christians, because their actions and words contradicted what I knew about God. How could God let hypocritical Christians into heaven, while people like Aaron, people who have been hurt by Christians be damned by God to everlasting damnation.
I don’t want to get biblical here, because there are plenty of versus and stories that say that hypocrites get gnashing of teeth, and those who are ‘lukewarm’ get spit out of Jesus’ mouth.
However these people, just like the Pharisees of Jesus’ day believed they were doing the right thing, entrenched in tradition and dogma. How did mainstream Christianity become a political spectrum compared to a soul-changing journey? Who am I to damn these ‘Christians’? I am no one. Jesus said he came to redeem all of us, that his grace covers all sin, that he removed all of our sin as far as the east is from the west, past present and future.
Maybe it is a generational thing. My pastor back home likes to say, “Caleb is one of those post-modern Christians”. The last 100 years of American Christianese has had a myriad of different tracts, classic fundamentalism, charismatic healing movements, Methodist, Baptists, preaching damnation and hellfire, the prosperity gospel and now the Grace.
I guess my message is this; get out of your tradition, leave the dogma behind, leave the dualist thinking and embrace a God who is bigger and better then you can ever imagine. Trust that the Good News is actually Good for all people.
In 100 years, odds are the Christianese that we follow will look different but oddly similar.
God is the same past, present and future. If we tap into that eternal, immortal, invisible, everlasting consciousness that is the God force, that is God’s nature, the world will be a better place.
Aaron and I are on similar journeys. I hope I could encourage him in his, as he unknowingly encouraged me in mine.
