My ministry for the month began Sunday. Prior to that, my team had been staying in a village along the border of Ukraine. Now, we are in the city of OcniÈ›a, working with Andrei and Larisa Luca. A big part of our ministry is helping them prepare their new home. God provided in really awesome ways for them to get this house. It was sold to them for half the asking price, and the lord provided the finances for it. His family has moved 6 times in the last 5 years renting. Now they can raise their family in their own home! The only catch? It hasn't been lived in for 8+ years and is filled with soviet era junk. We're talking nasty, spidery firewood, dishes, scrap metal, etc. And the woman who owned the house is getting us to move it for her…all 6 sheds worth. We are also helping repaint the house and are beginning the process by scraping. So half the team is covered in cobwebs and half is covered in paint chips. We are getting to choose good attitudes! Some are really rising to the challenge. Others are rising in impatience awaiting the looming month 3 mix-up in teams as new squad leaders are raised up. That thought of only a few more weeks is strange. It is causing an interesting tension within the team, as each team member wants to be here, but also feels distracted by other things. It's been hard for me to lead.
One of my new favorite jobs is fetching water. I walk up the hill, lower the bucket down 15 feet into the well, wait for the chain to pull tight as the bucket fills to it's brim, crank it back up, pour the fresh water into my buckets, and carry them home. It's a big hassle, that makes me really thankful for running water, but it's one that I've been learning a lot through.
As leading has been getting harder, and as I find myself to be without a co-leader for the first time since the race started, I have been feeling really alone. I love my team, but leading definitely has me in a different place then they are in. By default, leadership on the race gives me a different mantle, a different anointing, and a different standard of accountability. Being with Lindsay last month, and Adam and Georgia the month before, made this burden much easier. But now, I'm alone. This is a really good thing. Last month, my contact (and sister!) Bria saw this coming and felt God speaking a season of Lonely over me. She told me that Kings arise out of lonely places. My last Sunday at CTF Downtown before leaving for the Race, my brother Stu spoke about Jesus going away to a lonely place to be with His Father, and how intimacy is birthed and cultivated in lonely places.
Well I have embraced Lonely. Ever since posting my last blog, I feel so overjoyed, so full. I know it's because I have embraced the place He has me to walk through. I was spending some time with Papa the other day while I walked to the well to get water. As I cranked the water up the well, Papa said something to me that really impacted me.
He said, "You can get filled just like this. Every time you come to Me I'll pour water into your bucket until you're full to the brim, and then you can go out to all the thirsty people and empty yourself, pouring out my love to them. Then you can return. Walk back to the well of my presence and I'll do it all again. I'll pour living water into you until you're full, and then you can go pour out my love everywhere you go."
"Daddy," I replied, "You're so good. That sounds wonderful."
But then He continued. "Or, you can allow Me to fill you with a never ending stream, like when you fill a bucket with a hose. Instead of pouring out one bucketful at a time, the water can flow continuously until it's cut off. And guess what! I'll never turn off the water. I'll fill you until the point of overflowing, and then I'll just keep pouring out. You'll spill over and spill over and spill over until the ground around you is completely saturated, and then when it's time to move on, your bucketful of water will keep on overflowing. Don't forget, I promised that streams of living water will flow from inside you. Why would you come to Me for a while and then empty yourself? Why would you intentionally create mountaintops and valleys in your walk? Abide in Me, My son. Or, keep choosing to fill up and pour out. Your call."
It has taken me a few days to really process what that looks like. But it's been such an awesome new step in my journey. Whenever I feel frustrated or lonely, I realize that I must have turned off the water line. I open myself back up to Holy Spirit and keep going. I encourage you to do the same. 🙂
"'Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, "Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."' Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified." (John 7:38-39)
"…You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."(Psalm 23:5b-6)
"Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me." (John 15:3-4)
