I'm in a weird place. I was driving through NC State's campus the other day and something hit me that hadn't sunk in yet. NC State didn't graduate. I graduated. I moved on. I finished, but the university didn't. Everything goes on, just like usual. That part of my story is over, and my part of that story is over, but life goes on. It was bittersweet, realizing I was done for good. Did I change that school? Did I do anything to change that campus? I believe so. It wasn't usually dramatic, but I got to impact some lives. I got to stop for the one that God placed in front of me each day. I made a lot of friends. I made a few really good friends. But for me, NC State is in the past, just a part of where I come from, just a part of my story.
So, like I said before, I'm in a weird place. I'm in limbo. I'm going on the World Race, but I'm not on the Race yet. I've graduated, but I'm not looking to start a career. I have this awkward 5 months of waiting. Waiting to go change the world.
I've been growing closer with a lot of the people on my squad and that has been wonderful. Nevertheless, I feel like that isn't the point. I have a year to get to know them. They'll be family for life, I can already tell. But now isn't that time. Today is precious. As one of my squadmates (who is a HUGE blessing to me already), Carmen Alyse, reminded me the other day, Jesus promised us this: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." [Matthew 28:20] He's with us everyday. Every moment is truly meaningful. LORD! Today is incredibly meaningful! I'm sorry for the thing I've made it! I repent for living on the race 5 months early.
Want to feed the hungry? Okay, well GO!
Want to heal the sick? Okay, well GO!
Want to bind up the broken hearted? Okay, well GO!
Want to save the lost? Okay, well GO!
They're RIGHT HERE. I don't know about you, but they live on my block.
I've had a few really good conversations recently. I have a few really close brothers and sisters from NCSU going on the Race in July, but we'll be on different squads. Tonight I was talking with Justin Wong and Amanda Kerr and I realized something beautiful. More than anything, I want to use the time I have left in the States for Jesus' glory. I DON'T want to be on the World Race yet. I DON'T need to stress about it, or live in it yet. Papa has the finances ready already, and Holy Spirit has way too many beautiful ministry opportunities designed for me, for me to live in tomorrow. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt. 6:34) God, keep me focused on Your plans for today. I don't want to miss the chance to be a blessing for You or to receieve one from You, because of all the ways I'll be a blessing on the Race. I don't want to miss ministry daydreaming about ministry. I don't want to miss God's voice because I'm so focused on His "plans" (or, at least, my expectations about them).
God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Jesus' sacrifice brought us life. And Holy Spirit is not limited by time or place. I'm sick of the lie that says that miracles are for the past, and that power is maybe for missionaries, but not for me. That's ridiculous. How many religious American church-goers are dying and going to hell because they don't know the personal, loving, indwelling God? You live on a mission field. Want to see a miracle? Depend on God. If you give Him the chance, He'll give you the faith. Live radically and radical life will fill you! Holy Spirit is so good, so personal, so powerful. It breaks my heart when He gets shafted by well-meaning, God-loving believers. He lives in you! He was Jesus' gift to you! Receive the blessing that God already placed inside you. He really will tranform your life, mind, and heart. Give Him a chance. He's so much fun. He is fulness of Joy. And He loves to surprise you with Himself.
The Lord has opened some really beautiful doors for me to walk through in this season of in-between.
- I'll be working, designing websites. I'm so happy. It brings me such joy to create in this way.
- I'll be teaching a leadership class at my church, Catch the Fire State.
- I'll be helping co-lead an ignite group at church, as well. If you are in Raleigh, and need to find a small group, PLEASE contact me. I'd love to see you plugged in here. 🙂
- I get to continue meeting with, worshiping along side, and building up some of my favorite guys in the whole world.
Jesus has wonderful purposes for the time I have left in the US for 2012, and I promise not to miss out.
Thank you Lord! I bless Your name! I worship you with my time, life, resources, mind, and heart. Please fill me with Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, with Your power, with Your purpose, and Your light. Cover me in Your glory. May I manifest Your presence everywhere I go and deposit seeds of life where only darkness has grown. Come Lord! Have your way in me. Here am I. Send me!
Blessings to you all!
Caleb
