If I told you The World Race was easy, I’d be lying.
I have struggled with self-doubt. I have struggled with hearing the Lord’s voice. I have struggled with questioning the Lord’s plan. I have struggled with homesickness. I have struggled with whether I am actually making a difference. I have struggled with seeing the gifts the Lord has placed within me.
Before I left for The World Race I sat down with my friend Jason to get some advice about traveling and doing mission work. Considering he had just gotten back from living and doing mission work in Africa I knew he would have some good advice to share with me. I remember most of the stories he told and the advice he gave, however he said one thing that didn’t hold importance until I started living life on the race.
He told me that daily I would have to fight the Devil. Each morning when I woke up I was going to have to be ready to fight the Devil, because he was going to be fighting me with more strength than ever before.
This statement did not make since until I woke up one morning in Antigua fighting back tears from homesickness. Homesickness to this extent had never been a problem for me. I can’t describe the feelings of loneliness that came with it, or the doubt that followed the tears. I remembered what Jason told me about the Devil, and I realized that each day was going to be a fight. If I wasn’t going to have to fight against anything else, I was definitely going to have to fight against homesickness.
I have woken up several days challenging the Lord’s plan for me on the race. The Devil has fed lies into everything within me. He has told me me that I am unworthy, he has told me that I am not making a difference in the lives of the people I meet, he has told me that I won’t be able to make it through the next 8 months. He has battled me each and every day. He has thrown at me everything he has.
But I will not be moved.
James 1: 1-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you
know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its
work so that you may be mature, not lacking anything.
I know the Lord has called me here. I know the Lord has called me here. I know He has so much to teach me. I know He will daily strengthen my faith. I know He will daily provide me with a peace that surpasses anything the Devil could throw at me. I know that He will always wrap me in His arms and tell me how much I’m worth.
So, I’m ready to wake up each morning and fight the Devil’s talkin’.
Love, Caitlyn
P.S.
new photos on flickr in Honduras, Nicaragua, and for Cayce!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/caitlynrogers/
