What I experienced in Nicaragua changed my life, forever. I’m not sure exactly how to put into words the emotions or desires that have been filling my mind for the last few weeks…
Getting on the plane to leave Nicaragua was hard; there were so many emotions. I sat in church our last day in Nicaragua praying over my time there and asking for the strength I needed to board the plane. I asked the Lord for peace in leaving. Instead He gave me a vision of the rest of my time on the race, and showed me a glimpse into the growth I still need to experience on the race. And, while I am secure in the truth the Lord has given me, Nicaragua is still constantly in my thoughts.
I miss Nicaragua so much there are moments when I have to fight the desire to jump on whatever form of transportation will get me there first. I look at my watch and immediately begin to subtract time to figure out what time it is in Nicaragua. I wonder constantly how the children and youth are. I pray over them multiple times a day.
Then I have days where I wonder if they will even remember me, if I made any impact in their lives. I fear being grouped into the category of “just another American.” The devil is constantly speaking thoughts of doubt over my time in Nicaragua, making me question the time I spent there. But I remind myself of the experiences I had while in Nicaragua. I remind myself of the people there, I remind myself of all the laughs, all the shared testimonies, all the blessings from the Lord. I remember how He is moving through these people’s lives; not only how I have heard of Him moving, but how I have seen Him move with my own eyes.
I never thought I’d feel so at home in a place so far from the United States, but leaving Nicaragua felt like I was leaving a place I had always known. I left a piece of my heart in Nicaragua, and I pray that one day the Lord will call me to return.
love,
Caitlyn
