My plan was to finish my classes at UNF this spring and then go straight to my 360 hour internship this summer for graduation and then head out on the World Race in August. My internship is a 10 week long internship and the final day is July 27th. Commencement is July 31st and then August 2020 WR launch is the very next day, August 1st. During my internship I would have to take off a little over a week and a half for Training Camp. This would put me at having to complete over 40 hours a week to satisfy my internship requirements, yikes. I know that that looks like a lot, and it is, but the busyness excited me! I’m a busy person and I need to have stuff going on at all times. A filled calendar and events back to back energize me. I was ready for it, or so I thought.
A little background information – ever since I heard about the World Race I always said I wanted my route to be Southeast Asia and Africa focused. I said the two countries I wanted to go to so badly and had a heart for were Thailand and Swaziland, not sure why especially since I have never been to either, but I did. My route selections came out for August 2020 and there wasn’t a route that had the focus that I wanted or went to both of those countries. I thought oh well that was probably just a silly thought I constructed myself and proceeded about my route selection. I made my route choice and ended up being thrilled about my August 2020 selection. I could not wait to launch August 2020 and begin this journey! However, in early January I came across the January 2021 routes and was instantly torn. I was now looking at a January route that went from Africa to Southeast Asia and went to Swaziland and Thailand. It was exactly what I had always wanted. But was this my flesh or was it from the Lord? Why did I feel so strongly about this new route? Why were those two specific countries on my heart for so long? Was I only wanting to pick August because it launches sooner? Was I only wanting to pick January because of the countries? What would people think if I decided to wait until January? Was there a right or wrong choice to make? I had a flood of questions and insecurities, but no answers.
I spent 3 weeks in prayer over these routes. I looked at them and read over them nearly every day. I felt in my spirit as I looked at the routes that maybe January was what I was supposed to do instead. As I spent time with the Lord over this and talked to my parents and mentors, the reality of what my summer was going to look like began to set in. I started to see that leaving in August was not wise and ultimately was not going to be feasible. I also learned that there wasn’t going to be an organization that allowed an unpaid intern to complete nearly 45 hours a week, so I didn’t know what to do. It was becoming more clear that I needed to switch over to January 2021, but it was still such a tough choice for me to make. I have been waiting since May of 2017 to go on the World Race. I already told everyone I was leaving August 2020. I already did so much research on the countries I was going to be traveling to and was so dang ready and excited. I really really didn’t want to have to wait any longer. And if you know me, you know that waiting is not one of my strengths. But a few Sundays ago we sang the song Seasons at church and God began to work on my heart. This song became my prayer that day and the Lord gave me so much peace and spoke to me so clearly through the lyrics.
And I know
Though the winter is long even richer
The harvest it brings
Though my waiting prolongs even greater
Your promise for me like a seed
I believe that my season will come
I can see the promise
I can see the future
You’re the God of seasons
And I’m just in the winter
If all I know of harvest
Is that it’s worth my patience
Then if You’re not done working
God I’m not done waiting
I fully believe that the Lord is guiding me into this season of waiting and He has a work that He is not done with yet. I have so much peace from Him about this decision. I am going to be able to continue to invest where I am in Jacksonville and take these extra few months to grow with the Lord to prepare for the World Race in January. As unsettling as waiting 5 more months is, I know that He is good and that He is going to bless this season of waiting. God rarely leads us to the comfortable. I am ready to lean into the uncomfortable and wait through this “winter” and rest with the Lord. January 2021 will be here soon enough. But until then, He’s not done working so I’m not done waiting.
