>>My sister-in-law is one of the strongest people I know. I’ve bragged about her in the past and love having her beauty in my life. Last week she and my brother welcomed their first child, Jack Ryan Woodward. Her story shines with God’s glory and provision. I figured it couldn’t be shared more gracefully than from Jane herself, so she writes…
Here’s my story:
Having been raised in a home that was broken, I always knew that my own family would be different. After meeting Ryan and the Lord in 2005, my vision for our family was even more clear – I would have an unshakable marriage to a man who loves God and we would fill our home and our hearts with little Woodwards, who would know what it’s like to feel love, support, and family. So after a not-so-fun upbringing, including a battle with cancer as a young adult, I felt like when the time came for me to start a family, it would be a piece of cake, like God was my own personal genie just waiting for me to make my wish so that He could grant it. Wrong. Way Wrong. Ryan and I struggled with infertility for nearly two years. We saw multiple doctors who found reproductive problems with both of us and who proposed expensive treatments way out of our budget (adoption, too was more than we could afford). As a nurse I saw a thirteen year old pregnant girl in the ER during a shift and Ryan, as a police officer handled many cases of child neglect and abuse. I (well, we) did not understand why children were born into those situations, yet we were unable to conceive. It sucked. I cried a lot. I became jealous of friends around me who were announcing pregnancies and births. I was miserable and angry. All I wanted was to be a mom and I just didn’t understand God’s timing and reasoning. I joined an infertility support group at my church, which changed my whole perspective in a very unexpected way. The women in the group were so bitter and angry at God, many had shut out their friends who were pregnant and having babies. Sitting in the meetings I was convicted by God on my own similar feelings – how could I be bitter and angry with a God who loves me and has already given me more than I deserve? One positive thing I gained from the meetings was a quote about God’s timing:
God is never too late;
He is never too early;
He is always right on time;
Even though His timing can be very different from our own.
Having been raised in a home that was broken, I always knew that my own family would be different. After meeting Ryan and the Lord in 2005, my vision for our family was even more clear – I would have an unshakable marriage to a man who loves God and we would fill our home and our hearts with little Woodwards, who would know what it’s like to feel love, support, and family. So after a not-so-fun upbringing, including a battle with cancer as a young adult, I felt like when the time came for me to start a family, it would be a piece of cake, like God was my own personal genie just waiting for me to make my wish so that He could grant it. Wrong. Way Wrong. Ryan and I struggled with infertility for nearly two years. We saw multiple doctors who found reproductive problems with both of us and who proposed expensive treatments way out of our budget (adoption, too was more than we could afford). As a nurse I saw a thirteen year old pregnant girl in the ER during a shift and Ryan, as a police officer handled many cases of child neglect and abuse. I (well, we) did not understand why children were born into those situations, yet we were unable to conceive. It sucked. I cried a lot. I became jealous of friends around me who were announcing pregnancies and births. I was miserable and angry. All I wanted was to be a mom and I just didn’t understand God’s timing and reasoning. I joined an infertility support group at my church, which changed my whole perspective in a very unexpected way. The women in the group were so bitter and angry at God, many had shut out their friends who were pregnant and having babies. Sitting in the meetings I was convicted by God on my own similar feelings – how could I be bitter and angry with a God who loves me and has already given me more than I deserve? One positive thing I gained from the meetings was a quote about God’s timing:
God is never too late;
He is never too early;
He is always right on time;
Even though His timing can be very different from our own.
(from Why: Trusting God When You Don’t Understand by Anne Graham Lotz)
I made this quote a huge part of my struggle with infertility. I looked at it daily. I decided the meetings did not provide a good atmosphere for me, so I stopped going and tried to be as positive about the situation as possible. I reminded myself that God hadn’t forgotten about me – He knew my heartache and He had a plan. It wasn’t easy to be positive – I still cried myself to sleep once a month when a new menstrual cycle started, but through it all, I trusted that one day, somehow, I would be a mom and that the timing would be perfect. Then came November 8, 2009 – a day I will never forget – when the test finally said “Pregnant.” I called Ryan into the room where we embraced and cried – we were going to be parents. The next week when intense morning (well actually all-day) sickness set in, I wondered if I was the only person rejoicing and praising God with my head in the toilet. So now fast forward 9 months and as I type this message, I am holding the most precious baby boy in the world. Born on July 23rd, Jack Ryan is absolutely perfect and being a mom is more special than I ever imagined. The vast lack of sleep is welcomed, mostly because the time I’m awake is spent holding and just staring at this amazing gift from God. So in the end, all the tears and frustrations were worth it, and I learned valuable lessons about timing, faithfulness, and understanding. And though I don’t completely understand the timing, I trust that it is perfect. Thank you God for showing yourself to me in a whole new way, for challenging me, and for preparing me to be a mom. Thank you for an amazing husband and the vision of family that you have given us, and thank you for our son, Jack.
I made this quote a huge part of my struggle with infertility. I looked at it daily. I decided the meetings did not provide a good atmosphere for me, so I stopped going and tried to be as positive about the situation as possible. I reminded myself that God hadn’t forgotten about me – He knew my heartache and He had a plan. It wasn’t easy to be positive – I still cried myself to sleep once a month when a new menstrual cycle started, but through it all, I trusted that one day, somehow, I would be a mom and that the timing would be perfect. Then came November 8, 2009 – a day I will never forget – when the test finally said “Pregnant.” I called Ryan into the room where we embraced and cried – we were going to be parents. The next week when intense morning (well actually all-day) sickness set in, I wondered if I was the only person rejoicing and praising God with my head in the toilet. So now fast forward 9 months and as I type this message, I am holding the most precious baby boy in the world. Born on July 23rd, Jack Ryan is absolutely perfect and being a mom is more special than I ever imagined. The vast lack of sleep is welcomed, mostly because the time I’m awake is spent holding and just staring at this amazing gift from God. So in the end, all the tears and frustrations were worth it, and I learned valuable lessons about timing, faithfulness, and understanding. And though I don’t completely understand the timing, I trust that it is perfect. Thank you God for showing yourself to me in a whole new way, for challenging me, and for preparing me to be a mom. Thank you for an amazing husband and the vision of family that you have given us, and thank you for our son, Jack.
Jane and Baby Jack
