We need not be ashamed that our hearts ache; that we need and thirst and hunger for much more. All of our hearts ache. All of our hearts are at some level unsatisfied and longing. It is our insatiable need for more that drives us to our God.
-Unknown
It’s not fun. You’ll find it in the small print of what you signed up for. (That is if you’ve signed up.) The ache. The stinging, throbbing, heaviness of an aching heart.
The discomfort of an aching heart is the silent insides of a soul desperately crying out for more than our eyes and flesh can see. Sometimes you get it and other times you lay alone with only tears to accompany the pain. You may know the reason and other times it ends with voiceless prayers of desperation. Let me tell you a secret: He hears every cry and knows every pain.
Last week I was visiting a church in Georgia with my sister-in-law. During the worship time God shared with me a desire of His heart for these people. Afterwards I was able to meet the pastor and share with him this desire: their desire! God wanted to bless these people. But He wanted them to know that they must desire Him, want Him, above everything else. More than their families or jobs or even their next meal. God wants to be desired more than all our “stuff.” And He wants us to know this – it’s how life is gonna work out best. (Mark 12:30)
I’ve been aching. I sat up from bed and read an old journal. A year ago tonight I was crying out to God for someone I knew. It didn’t make sense and the prayers that came out of me were from God alone. It hurt. To willingly be at the foot of the cross on behalf of another isn’t always, let’s say, “peachy.” Because when you lift up another lives change by His power, grace, and love. It’s a sacrifice of self to intercede – much gets refined. Burned up and thrown away. Yourself gets changed to be more like Christ so by worldly standards you get nothing in return for all you’ve offered. Yet, God wanted this person reached and covered in prayer and the Holy Spirit.
From that night: “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.”
2 Corinthians 1: 21,22
Know He desires us. He desires obedience to see His children transformed.
For counties, the nations, and my generation prayers flow out from the depth of my heart. All that is within pleads with God to save and bring life to His people. For friends and family and every city I’ve been to the past month. His blood was shed for those people! And though the pain feels like a curse sometimes I count it as a blessing to offer myself as an intercessor for so many.
Jenn Fancy is beautiful! She spent the rough 11 months with me around the world. Her heart and soul ached 100 times more than mine did for each nation we landed in. For each people group her body would hurt in prayers of unfailing love. She inspired me to continually find joy as His child. As a child introducing so many people to the Father.
So what do you do when your heart aches. You run! You run and run and run to the Father. You talk with Him until your voice gets hoarse. You climb into His lap and nuzzle your head just under His. You leap into His lap with excitement as you recognize an opportunity for growth and change. Or you can gently lift your leaky eyes to the thrown and allow His mighty arms to lift you onto His chest. Don’t be afraid to let the streams flow from your eyes. He can wipe them away as you fall asleep to the rhythm of His heartbeat.
But run. Figuratively or literally. Make Him your desire and don’t allow anything to take your eyes away from His beautiful love. In the pleasure He is God. In the pain He is God. In your life let Him be God.
