“No sandals. No blue, red, or white shirts. No tight clothes.” These were some of the rules Jackie was taking us through as a small team of us met earlier last week preparing for a prison visit. Seemed easy enough. Our contact is a pastor who visits the prison regularly and was allowing us to present a program to the gentlemen. Christian 101 kicked it: OK, we’ll start with prayer, then some songs, what about a drama, and who can give a testimony or message? God spoke but I sat in my seat squirming for a way out. Jeanette wouldn’t let me – “Caitlin, do you like speaking?I think you should share. God just gave that to me.” My response…an enthusiastic, YEAH…followed by an, “Uh, but, they…I…well, see…I…they’re boys.”
God can give me tenderness for women. He’s shown me and blessed me with opportunities and ways to care for His daughters. They are beautiful and wonderful. Kids…though I can only deal with them for long periods of time when the Spirit moves me, I think they’re great. Kids are the same rambunctious little balls of Jesus around the world. Youth are a newly formed passion and interest of mine. They are young and full of God’s Kingdom building potential. They are talkative and opinionated and prime to be shaped into radical disciples. Old people – adorable. But men. I’ve never jumped at the chance to serve or love them. Honestly, part of me gets creeped out sometimes because I don’t want them to get the wrong impression of a woman involved in men’s ministry. I pray with a sincere heart that my husband will have that gifting towards serving and ministering to men (’cause I don’t) – what a good balance.
But here I am, very single, chosen to step into a men’s prison and…be Jesus to His beloved children. Yea, it happened again. I got to see His kids as He does. Fear was taken away and I got to relate and talk to them like my brothers. The day before we went to visit God kept me in prayer. I tried my best to look up Scripture and write out a “sermon” for these guys but nothing would stick. I spent a few hours just lifting these men in prayer and asking God to show me His heart for them.
So this is how it went –
The day we headed out for our 45 minute commute the enemy decided to attack early. We had just missed the 8 o’clock bus – taken care of by sweet angels in the form of worker guys on the next bus. Once we met our contact, Bill, and got through introductions we headed to the prison. Our cars were stopped, checked, and re-checked even though Bill comes to visit once a week. One car got through but three of our girls were told to stay back because they were wearing black t-shirts. It was just another rule we missed but that was also taken care of when we found extra shirts for them to wear. Danny’s guitar was held at the gate…also taken care of. Once inside a man simply handed him a guitar to use during our little service. What a blessing!
The set up was different than our experience at the prison in Thailand. Last week we were actually able to join the men in their newly constructed chapel for service. The opportunity to join these brothers in worship and prayer amazed me. These, too, were His sons and princes. Others may have forgotten them but He hasn’t.
After our drime (drama + mime) and songs I had the privilege to share a word of God’s encouraging love and freedom. Yeah, freedom. It’s what He wanted said so that’s what I went with. His message of a life without condemnation and bondage came out of my mouth from the depth of my heart. We are all invited to live in this free life in God which we miss it sometimes. It’s not by law but by His love we live without the chains. I shared a bit of Paul’s story which followed well after Danny shared a song he wrote about being released in Christ as our Rescuer. I read from Paul’s letters, “For you have been called to live in freedom – not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.” (Gal 5:13) We are freed to love and serve each other. Paul chose into this life that – though most times brought him persecution, chains, and shipwrecks – allowed him to live freely in Christ’s life-altering love. I shared with these guys that this was not only a calling for Paul but for us and for them as well.
I thanked them for allowing us to join them that morning. Bill prayed. The service was over and the men ate the cupcakes we brought.
I don’t know. I’m writing this blog a week after I met and talked with these guys and there’s still something inside me that’s calling out in praise and thanksgiving. It was a divine meeting. It was Church. It was God’s active hands in humble obedience. I got to be used for the Kingdom! I got to tell these guys something significant. And it doesn’t even matter if my words were heard. God was there with us and that it something I will stand firm in. I got to look them in their eyes and be excited for their lives and the opportunities God has for them. I got to sing with them. I got to shake hands and encourage them. I got to hold hands and pray for them.
I’m thinking now of God’s creative beauty. Like how He wired me. I like tattoos. That was the first thing I said to the guys when I stood up to share with them…I saw some pretty impressive ink in the audience so I felt it necessary to recognize. Anyway, afterwards I got to meet Eric. He’s from Holland and in addition to smaller tattoos on his arms he has FEARLESS on his forearm. Though he was too shy to share his powerful testimony the light within him wasn’t quiet. Anthony is a cute short guy from Belgium. I recognized him from sitting in the back of the chapel throughout the service. He had a stern face then but as we talked I got to see his kind smile. He got help with the Chinese translations of his daughters names from another inmate. He said some Spanish guy in the prison was how he got them tattooed on both of his forearms. Anthony and his brother, Stephen, get to go back to Belgium this week. They’re looking forward to being closer to family. Terrance had a small chain inked on his biceps, but it was his American accent that caught my attention. From Philly, Terrance and I were both encouraged to be around people from our home country. He stayed for prayer after the service and I feel God’s gonna do something bold within that man’s life and testimony for His glory. And lastly, right before we were walking out, Terrance introduced us to “Lion of Judah”. It was this really big guy with his arms full of decoration. Apparently his back has a huge lion or eagle or something…I didn’t get to see that but I took their word for it. Their smiles made me grin. God, what do you get me into sometimes?
And those are some of my brothers. They may be in a prison in Panama and you may never get to meet them, but they are there furthering the Kingdom with each prayer and each act of love. I was just blessed to be a part of it for the moment.
**There aren’t any pictures of the prison itself because we weren’t allowed to bring them in. Click here for a bit of Kari’s story for more of that day.**
