I agree with my World Race buddy, Mark, when he posted the other day about changes in life. They happen too fast, too often. How are we supposed to catch up? Graduating college and moving six hours away from “everyone I knew” has given me a rude awakening to a sudden change in scenery.
It was a few weeks ago when I selfishly and depressingly noticed that “everything” I once held dear was gone. Really – it was my God showing me all the meaningless things I had put my trust and confidence in throughout the years. Because of the changes these were all gone to me now. My first response: “God, help! What do I cling to now?” I was searching for my man-made life savers: my appearance, strength, health, wisdom, leadreship roles, clubs, education, talents, abilities, even family and relationships. To my sudden horror they too were sinking along side me and I tried desperately to keep my head above the waves of change.
He’s humbling me, a lot. Showing me the things I once had close and clung to for support, encouragment, and confidence – maybe even gave me my identity. Not that these are bad things but I just hadn’t realized that I put so much confidence in them. Now He’s gotta strip them away. In trials, in pain, in sorrow, in whatever – my list of man-made life savers are not going to give me anything that will last eternity.
Most recently the Lord showed me the confidence I place in the ability to control my own emotions. Um, different, but I’d be proud of my strength in times when I wouldn’t cry, let myself be upset, convince myself not to show affection. I found myself in the car the other day screaming to God – ’cause I wanted to. Why do I hold back? Fear has a lot to do with it. My God can take that! If I wanna praise – I’m gonna praise! Be like King David and dance in my underwear! God, you gave me tears – let them flow! I prayed for healing the other day for my back pain and You gave it instantly – yet, I felt ashamed if anybody knew I cried about it.
So, yet another thing God’s showing me these days. I’ve found some comfort in Proverbs 3 and continue to search the Word for His hope as He becomes once again my full foundation and Rock. And good questions Mark posed:
How can I effectively portray the fact that Christ is the only life
change that ever truly matters when our global village supplies so many
options for change and ‘betterment’? Will I have the capacity to let go
of control of all these things that only God can do in the first place?
