We come back to “the mines” (the small church we are staying in this week, name created on a day we locked ourselves inside during a thunderstorm) after a day in Siem Reap. We’re all taking off our shoes at the door, and I see a GIANT spider sitting there. Waiting. Seriously, it probably had a three-inch diameter. GIANT. My teammate, Ashley, is the bug and spider killing warrior of the team, and killed it for us… after it started running towards us and we all ran around the room screaming.
Cut to later in the evening, it’s dark outside, and ANOTHER spider of the same size was found in one of the bathrooms. Ashley bravely killed that one as well, and after freaking out for a little while longer, we all decided that nobody was going to shower that night. Being a little smelly for another day was worth it to not be eaten alive by an eight-legged monster.
While we were outside washing our faces and brushing teeth, a THIRD spider was found on one of the tents in the room. That was the final straw. We all declared war against those little creatures- spraying the entire room with Raid, shaking out all of the clothes on the clothesline and on top of our tents, and quickly moving into our tents.
Before I could rest easy, I had to go through everything in my tent. I’m pretty good about making sure my tent is zipped up, but there’s always a chance that something crawled in while it was open at some point. And the last thing I wanted was to wake up with one of those guys on my face. So, the investigation began. After psyching myself up and counting to three, I went into my tent and zipped up the door. I went through each packing cube, each container, my sleeping bag liner, my pillow case, under my sleeping pad- everywhere. I was putting everything in ziplock bags, and zipping everything tight. Every time I opened a new container, I was met with overwhelming fear, but I knew that I had to do it or else I’d never sleep that night. I would take a deep breath and then quickly move the item and shake it out to know that it was safe. And repeat until every inch of my tent was accounted for. Once I finished, I became content and at peace, knowing that I was in a safe and secure place to rest.
Then of course, God had to go on and point out that the evening was like life. At training camp and launch, they talked to us a lot about digging into the things in your life that you just want to tuck away forever. Things that are a little scary to face again, things that you wish you could just throw in a ziplock bag to rot forever.
My team has been talking a lot more about telling each other our stories. There was a day and night where we all sat down and decided to talk about a specific part of our past. We took the time to listen, tell every detail, answer any questions, be vulnerable. There wasn’t any speck of judgement, only love. And I can only speak for myself, but I feel like I can love my teammates better now that I know those details.
There is still much more to tell, so many hidden secrets from our past, things that we aren’t necessarily proud of, but we have decided to share those things with each other. It’s scary to uncover parts of my past, my personality, my insecurities, but once I face them, and especially with the help of my team to soothe the worries and stress, I can find that place of relaxation, peace, and contentment.
So, I’m going to psych myself up, count to three, and jump in. And it’s going to be good.
My team will be meeting back up with our squad this week, and then we’ll be heading to our SECOND country, Thailand!! It’s hard to believe that Month 1 is almost over- crazy! God has been so good to us, I can’t wait to see what He’s got in store for next month. Thank you so much for your prayers, emails, words of encouragement- there’s no way I could do this without you!
Please pray for our travel days this week, for the Lord to open our hearts for whatever’s to come this next month, and for energy to finish this last week at our ministry site with love!
I am SO CLOSE to being fully funded- WOW!! If you would like to help bridge that gap, click on one of the three “Support Me!” links on this page. Not having money hanging over my head is such a stress relief, and I’m able to spend more of my energy on ministry. Thank you!
xo, Caitlin
