“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made prefect in LOVE.” 1 John 4:18
I remember stepping up to the podium in an El Salvadorian church to give my first sermon on a sunny Sunday morning. I don’t think I have ever been more fearful in my life. I thought I was going to throw up. My hands were shaking as I held the microphone. There was no place to escape if I panicked no place to hide if I failed.
I closed my eyes and felt like I was in a circus tent under the spotlight causing sweat to drip down my face. High above the crowd with all eyes on me I felt I was about to jump off of the platform into the unknown, and I was going to hit the ground and probably die.
Then I remembered the net.
There is always a safety net in the circus, so that you don’t hit the ground and die.
I had always had this image in my head that if I loved God enough, maybe He would catch me sometimes. I then realized that it was because of His love for me that He will catch me always.
Because I fear, my love for God is flawed. It is not enough to save me from fear. I will not overcome this with courage, or by gritting my teeth and doing it anyways. I will overcome fear, the root of all fear, by falling off that platform of doubt and failure and into the safety of God’s perfect love.
If I really am loved perfectly then what do I have to fear?
What if I fail? It doesn’t matter, I won’t be abandoned. I won’t be rejected, alone, uncared for. Are those not the root behind every human fear? Perfect love covers it all. It covers everything in life and in death.
I opened my eyes and looked at my translator who was giving me and encouraging smile. I knew he was rooting for me. The pastor was rooting for me, my team, the congregation, and most importantly God all wanted to see me wildly succeed.
I still don’t have all of the answers.
I know I can still fail at things. I know that people can reject me. I know I can be left alone, and these things hurt. They always will. I don’t know how to stop them.
But I do know that love is the opposite of all of these things. I know that perfect love casts out all fear.
And I know on the other side of fear is freedom.
