The Decision
It was decision time …I had taken the two weeks that I was given after being accepted to the world race to decide if I was actually going. I had taken an extension of an additional week. I had waited three months to actually apply for the thing. I had waited another three to schedule my interview. I was running out of time.
I had talked it over with my family, closest friends, and also a few random strangers. They were all telling me to go, but I was waiting for one more opinion…the one that mattered most. How does God speak to me? I was waiting for a booming voice like Samuel, or a dream like Joseph, or a blot or lighting or a burning bush or ANYTHING!!
The Struggle
I wrestled with the decision daily. I could not even decide what my favorite ice cream flavor was, how could I decide what do with my life? Then I was listening to a sermon on my iPod by my pastor, Levi Lusko. He mentioned how in the Old Testament when someone dedicated their life to God, he would pour a jar of oil on the ground representing pouring yourself out to God.
Sometimes symbols help get things out of your head and put it in perspective. “But no one does that anymore,” I thought, “Its irrelevant today.” I thought about doing it many times but in the end it sounded too weird….Then decision time came around and I kept feeling this strange urge to do this.
The Realization
So I got some oil in a jar and stuck it under my coat and told my mom I was going to the store. “I’m going to pour oil on the ground,” just didn’t sound right. I drove to my favorite prayer spot, a state park that has cliffs overlooking Flathead Lake. The sun was setting over the mountains and it was one of the most beautiful nights I had seen in a long time.
I suddenly had an unreasonable peace settle over me. I told God that whatever He wanted me to do, I would do it whether it was waitressing for the rest of my life, or traveling around the world. Then I brought out my little jar of oil and looked around to make sure no one was looking and poured it into the forest floor. As I watched it trickle down the pine needles and over the rocks it hit me like a ton of bricks. It wasn’t sinking into the ground, it was spreading farther and faster, covering everything it touched. I finally realized what God was telling me.
The next day I decided to take a leap of faith and go on The World Race. Sometimes I still struggle with my decision because I never got a lightning bolt or a burning bush. I got a simple realization: that a life poured out to God will spread farther and faster and affect everything it touches more than a life that is kept in a jar.
