God has done nothing but amaze me
in the last few months in preparation for the race. It leaves me speechless and
in complete awe. The fact that GOD
the creator of the universe would care enough to mold, shape, push, and stretch
me leaves me completely humbled.
That he listens to my prayer and ANSWERS them! That He finds ways to show me how He delights in me, even
though I am completely undeserving of his love. As I get closer to this trip, I am completely and
overwhelmingly astounded by the God we serve. He knits our lives together to build up to these moments that
will forever change the fabric of who we are. When our desire and prayer is to serve and glorify God, He
takes us on this crazy journey that is anything but boring, easy, or safe. He cares enough to let us endure pain
and hardships so we can develop perseverance, character, and hope.(Romans
5:3-4)
The truth is that this last year
has been a rough one. One of those
years where you just put your head down, knowing that at some point in time it
will get easier. The reality was that through it all God was always guiding me,
even when my life didn’t glorify Him.
Looking back, I can see how what was painful taught me to heal, what
broke my trust taught me what it really is to trust in the Lord, what
frustrated me taught me patience, and what broke me allowed me to better
understand the comfort of His arms.
The beauty of it all is that He never does a work in us without a
purpose. He works all things out
for good, even when you can’t see it at the time. God loved me enough over this last year put me in the fire
so I could be closer to the woman He wants me to be. We are “to be made new in the attitude of our minds and to
put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”
(Ephesians 4:23-24). In all my
flawed humanness, I will never be like God in true righteousness and holiness,
so I am sure this will be a continual life long process.
The pain, hardships, and refiners
fire are worth it. If that is what
it takes to become the woman God wants me to be, I’m in. This path that He has me on is EXACTLY
where I want to be. It is not easy or simple. I have struggled like many others with a thousand details of
this next year. What if I can’t
raise the support? What if loved one’s have a tragedy while I’m gone? What if
it’s too hard and I’m not as tough as I thought? What if I get sick? What if I come home, cant find a job,
and have no money? What if, what if, what if???
Then I begin to think a different
what if. WHAT will my life
look like IF I give it fully to God, TRUST HIM WITH EVERYTHING. What if I let Him free me of the
weaknesses in my life? What if I
stop settling for mediocrity? What if I begin to truly understand what it is to
love others as Christ loved us?
What if I let God change me in such a radical way that I can never be go
back to the way I was before the race?
These are the what if’s I choose to think about.
I know this is the exact place God
wants me to be. That the events of
this last season of my life were all building to something bigger than I could
ever imagine. I choose to praise
God, claim His victory in my life, and stop asking why things happen. I choose to be grateful, to serve him
with joy, and come with a thankful heart he is doing a great work in my life!
Cant wait to see the results of a
year spent in community, serving God, and sharing His love all over the world.
