“Yeah, I’m a Christian.”
This is the line that I end up saying to people with a befuddled look on their face. It usually comes after I have said something along the lines of, “So last week at church…” The conversation always ends in some confusion. For some reason, people don’t understand how I can be a Christian.
I guess I can see where they are coming from. I am sarcastic (yes, this is something I can work on improving). I always have a joke or comment ready on hand to anything that someone says. I am hardly ever serious. I am very openly a Democrat. I enjoy a good craft beer or a finely made Old Fashioned. And finally, I hardly ever talk about my faith.
As I have told people about the World Race, my beliefs, naturally, have come to the forefront of the conversation. Talking about my Christianity has been super uncomfortable. I have never been that person to post bible verses on social media. I don’t listen to christian music. Already being part of the World Race has pushed me.
So why don’t I talk about my faith? I think it started back in high school. One of my friends didn’t tell me about something that was going on in her life. A couple years later she admitted to me that it was because she was scared that I would judge her, because of my faith. My heart sunk. I always want to be there for my friends no matter what. From that point on, my faith became super private. Unless asked or prompted, I wasn’t going to share. I never want anyone to feel that if they come to me with something, that they will be judged. I know how this feels. I have had close friends in the church be very judgmental when I would bring up personal problems or questions. My own personal philosophy of Christianity has been judged and deemed incorrect by confidants and members of the church. It goes without saying that this has left a bad taste in my mouth. Why would I want part of something, that left me feeling bad about myself? This is no doubt one of the reasons that people avoid the Church.
But here I am, getting ready to devote a year of my life doing missions work. Believe me, I’m just as confused as you may be. I am someone who is not vocal about their faith, and yet here I am talking about it in public every day. I guess it would make sense to tell you what I do believe.
Yes. I am a Christian. I believe in the trinity. I believe in a personal God who has a plan for me. I believe that God sent his son to die for my sins. I believe in love.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”- Matthew 22:37-39
In a nutshell this is what I believe and why I am going on the World Race. I want to dedicate a year of my life to loving people, as I love myself.
I am not here to judge. I am not here to try and change you. I am not here to bible thump.
I am here to share with you, and have you be part of this exciting adventure where I get to spend a year going into communities and loving the people I meet. I hope you choose to go on this adventure with me.
–Caitlin
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