This blog was written by my teammate Danielle. It is about one of our favorite girls that we lived with at the center. We believe that these women’s stories matter and deserve to be told. When we shed light on the dark parts of our lives, we begin to walk in freedom. Danielle asked for permission before writing the blog.
*This story can be triggering for some, so please proceed with caution. This particular testimony contains sensitive subject-matter including abuse, neglect, violence, and rape.*
For security’s sake, I will call her “A”.
“A” was born in a small village and has an older brother, a twin sister, and a younger brother. She moved in with her grandmother when she was five, along with her twin and her cousin. One day, her grandmother put a pot of water on the fire to boil and went outside to gather more wood for the fire. Her cousin somehow spilled the boiling water all over her twin sister. “A” heard a terrifying scream and came running into the room. “A” immediately put her sister in cold water, and when her grandmother returned shortly after, they took her sister straight to the local medicine man since there wasn’t a hospital nearby. Her sister was there for days and finally the medicine man came to her grandmother’s house to tell them they could come and see her sister. When “A” and her grandmother got to the medicine man’s house, there was a “Do not enter” sign on the door. They were confused, but “A” proceeded through the door anyway. There she found the lifeless body of her sister, a moment that still haunts “A” today. “I was five years old, and I had to bury the one who was supposed to be my closest friend through life,” “A” told me, as she recounted this story.
What went on in the following four years is unclear, but when “A” was nine years old, she was living with her step-father. Her mother was not really around. One day she was in bed with the baby trying to get her to go to sleep. Her step-father came in the room, intoxicated and said he wanted to sleep with her. She made enough commotion to wake up the baby and he turned around and walked out of the room, laughing. She eventually let the baby go back to sleep and fell asleep herself. Later that night, her step-father came back into the room, drug “A” out of her bed and into his. He pinned her down, his knee on her chest at first. She remembered the weight of him on top of her and barely being able to breathe under the pressure. She tried to muster up enough breath to be able to scream, but just as she was about to, her step-father put a knife to her throat and threatened to cut her head off if she made any movement or noise. He then proceeded to rape her. She remembered the extreme pain in great detail and said she has not been able to walk the same since that night. “It’s like my daily reminder of that awful night,” she said. The next day her body was bruised, muscles sore, and insides ripped. She has dreaded nightfall everyday since that night.
Her mother came for a visit shortly after this horror started. She noticed “A” was walking weird and asked what was wrong. “A” told her mother everything was fine, but her mother wasn’t buying it. She swung at “A” with a stick and threatened to beat her if she didn’t tell the truth. “A” reluctantly, and under the threat of more violence, told her mother what happened. Her mother reported it and they went through the police and court proceedings. Her step father was found guilty and was sent to jail.
“A” moved in with her mother and older brother. Her mother was always gone, but she had a good relationship with her brother. Their mother spent her days begging and digging through trash trying to find food for her children. One day, her brother asked her to come into the room to watch something with him. “A” refused at first, knowing that there was no device to watch a show on in that room. He insisted, however, and “A” finally gave in and went to the room. As soon as she walked in, her told her to lay down and go to sleep. She first refused out of the sheer oddness of the situation. He then unexpectedly took out a knife, pinned “A” down, held it to her throat and threatened to cut her head off if she disobeyed him again. Scared and overwhelmed with the similarities of this circumstance to the one she had been through with her step-father, “A” obeyed. She woke up hours later to her brother raping her. She froze and let her mind take her anywhere else but where it actually was. To this day, “A” has not told anyone what happened that day except her counselor and me. (She told me it was okay if I shared this part of her story with you all since nobody would know her name or location.)
She then proceeded to tell me about how her mother had been attacked one night while she was out trying to find food. She was raped and also lost her eye. “A” said her mother hasn’t been the same since that day. Her mother started withdrawing even further and talking to herself while spiraling into a deep depression. Shortly after her mother was attacked, just long enough that her wounds healed, her mother decided they were going to move to another city. Her mother decided that before they moved, they needed to go to the jail where her step-father was sent and request to have him released. She thought that by moving to another city, he would not longer be a threat. “A,” her mother, and her brother made the journey to the jail the next day. All of the paperwork was in order for his release and they were planning on moving the next day. As they walked home that night, they noticed a man in a white shirt following them. Eventually, this man began yelling her mother’s name. The family stopped and turned to confront the man. He then told them that their mother’s presence was requested at a house down the road for a reason for which “A” never understood. Her mother assured them that they would be okay, so “A” shoved down her gut feeling that there was danger coming and followed her mother and the mystery man to the house.
When they arrived, they were ambushed and each of them were tied up. When they came back to consciousness, “A” saw her mother tied to a chair in the middle of the room and a men standing beside both her and her brother. Her step-father, one of many men in the room, instructed the men to not let “A” or her brother look away from what was about to happen. Her step-father basically told them that since they had brought humiliation upon him, they were going to pay. Her step-father then proceeded to beat her mother with a rolled up dried animal skin. After beating her until she was almost unconscious, he then proceeded to rape her and let the other men in the room do the same. Meanwhile, “A” and her brother did their best not to watch, but the men never let that happen. They then put “A” in the place of her mother and the men did the same thing to her as to her mother. Her brother was next. By the end of the whole ordeal, they were all so injured and overwhelmed that their bodies shut down. They were unconscious for an unknown period of time and when they awoke the men were gone. Through much struggle, they got themselves untied and did their best to try to walk.
They eventually made it to the hospital where they were each treated for their wounds and stitched up internally and externally. “A” told me that her mother just completely shut down after the attack. She would just sit in a couple of rooms of their house and not move for days. “A” and her brother were left to fend for themselves. Her mother was randomly in a ton of pain one day and told “A” that she needed to go to the hospital. Her mother crashed half way through their walk to the hospital and as she lay writhing in pain in an alleyway, she simply looked at “A” and told her to catch the baby. “A” had absolutely no idea her mother was even pregnant, but she did as her mother said and caught the baby and the afterbirth. “I started the day worried about losing my mother, and I ended the day by helping deliver my baby brother. It was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever had to do.”
“A” never told me how exactly she ended up being removed from her mothers home, but she now lives in a home for girls who have been abused or abandoned. She had a rough transition when she first arrived, but now, years later, she is thriving under the care she is recieving. She knows the Lord and is working with her counselor to process all the things she has had to go through. She’s a fighter if I’ve ever seen one, and I cannot wait to hear what the Lord does I need her and through her story in the future. Please join me in praying for “A” as she continues walking with the Lord on this journey to healing.
