I was a little nervous about going to training camp again. My mind was racing the whole week before I left St Louis to fly to Georgia. I did a lot of reflecting on who I was when I went to training camp the first time. So I was a little uneasy as I arrived in Georgia but I also knew in my heart this was where I was suppossed to be and I also knew God was going to rock my world.
It’s hard for me to really express how much this past week meant to me. It was huge emotionally and spiritually for me. It was one of the first times I really saw how much my life has changed. For the first time in many years I didn’t feel defined by my past. My heart felt completely different that old person felt so foreign to me, and yet it was terrifying to let go. I felt so much peace and joy. It’s a strange feeling to experience that inner rest when all you’ve known for so long is chaos. Even though the feeling is strange to me it sure felt good.
After I felt so good for a few days some lies crept in. My first instinct is to run from these feelings to not reach out and to fight the love at all costs. Thankfully the love was so present and so overwhelming that I couldn’t help but embrace it. Its scary to receive the love you’ve always longed for, but the more steps I take in that direction the more I see God is a trustworthy God and that His people really do love me.
Three words that God really placed on my heart this week were: Transition, Choice, and Perseverance
