Becoming A Butterfly
preference is to hide in the cocoon, but every now and again we chose to engage
the difficult struggle of breaking out. It’s painful; it’s frustrating; it’s
hard work. We might even wonder why God would make the cocoon so hard to escape
from, never realizing it is the process itself that strengthens our wings and
prepares us for flight. Once you have lift, once you have takeoff, it just
might hit you- on its worst day, a butterfly flies better than a caterpillar on
its best day. -Erwin Mcmanus
This quote sums up the last few years of my life. Many days I
would read this quote just to remind me that this battle I am facing right does
not have the final say. While the process is long and hard the end result is
something far more beautiful that I can even imagine. Just like a caterpillar
becomes a beautiful butterfly I too will be changed for the better.
Even though my head knows this is true my heart often forgets. Many
days I do not listen to the truth I know. I chose to believe the lies that are
constantly being thrown at me. The lies that it’s too hard, I will never be
healed, my life will never different.
I ask God many questions. Why this is happening? How can I feel
better now? Why won’t you do something to end the pain? It is good to ask
questions. Don’t get me wrong. I think a lot of us need to ask these questions,
but at a certain point instead of asking Why? We need to ask God a new
question. What are you teaching me in this?
James 1:2-4 says”Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet
trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces
steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be
perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”. Immediately after I read this I think yeah
right God. I will not take joy in suffering that’s ridiculous. As I have walked
through depression and addiction I have seen it is not taking joy in the fact
that you are suffering. That’s just weird. You take joy in the fact that you
are not alone in your suffering that God is with you and that God is using your
suffering to make you into the person you were created to be. Just as the quote
says “It is the process itself that strengthens our wings and prepares us for
flight”.
Many of us don’t engage the process. We waste our pain. Our pain
can become something that causes us to run from God and become bitter or our
pain can become the tool God uses to shape us into people we were meant to be.
I know it’s hard, believe me I know it’s hard. But it just might
be that God wants to use you for something far greater than you can even
imagine. God can’t use you or me unless we are open to being transformed by
him. Unless we confront the place of pain we will just go through the motions
of life and not really experience all that God has for us.
There is so much pain and brokenness all around us. People are
looking for hope, and we cannot share something we don’t have. We can’t really have
hope and really experience Christ unless we allow God to use our pain.
It’s not going to be an easy or fun process, but it will be
worth it. All of us have an amazing gift to offer the world, but we have to
first be willing to face our own pain. We have to choose to engage the fight.
We have to want transformation. Sure we’ll mess up. You and I will want to
quit, but “on its worst day, a butterfly flies better than a caterpillar on its
best day.”
to bring hope and love to others who are suffering.
