A couple of weeks ago I asked my mother (Tori Friggle) to write for my next blog describing here perspective during this season. Hope you enjoy!
If I’m going to be completely honest then I must tell you that when we took Caelum to Georgia for launch in September I felt like Abraham taking Isaac to be sacrificed. I know that sounds completely irrational! I had a complete peace knowing that he was following God’s call and that he would be coming home and not losing his life on the race, but for some reason as we ran around taking care of all the necessary things that needed to be done I kept trying to take in every moment. Whether it was our last trip to buy supplies, our last family hike, or our last family dinner. Oh, the list goes on and on. I felt like I was taking him to a place of no return to us or to our normal family routines.
I would put on a happy, strong face in front of him because I didn’t want to take away his excitement. I would act like all was well then go hide in the bedroom and fight with God on how I wanted Caelum to serve Him but how I just knew it should be next to Brandt and I and not on the other side of the world. I would have my pity party alone and then come out and act like nothing was wrong. Then on a few occasions the tears would flow without warning and my sweet son would wrap me in his arms and tell me all would be ok and that he would be back before we knew it.
What I have learned about myself is that its okay to tell the Lord he can have your children but then struggle when that is truly put to the test. What is important is that you are obedient to His call. God is not scared of our fits, He isn’t offended by our questions, He isn’t offended that that you come to him and try to tell him what we feel is a better plan. Now in saying that it doesn’t mean he is going to change his mind. What it means is that we can come to him in whatever “state” we are in and he is there to listen and comfort us until we finally realize His way is always best. He is our father who knows our every thought, so why do we feel like we must pretend we are okay with something when we are struggling. Just like we as parents can see when our kids are struggling. Never do we get offended when our kids come to us and want to talk. A lot of times they just need to get it off their chest. There is an old saying “the will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.” God has had my child from the beginning. He didn’t call him to this place for his mom to say, “just kidding Jesus, you can only have him if it is in my arm’s length of grabbing him.” God called Caelum to serve in a totally different way than anyone in our family has ever served. He was not only teaching Caelum in this journey, but our whole family. There have been days of great struggles. There have been days when I feel like June seems so far away that my heart aches. There have been days when I want to be selfish and bring him home. And then there are the days that when I hear his voice my heart melt listening to his journey. When he tells me little tid bits of what he is doing and seeing. He is doing, seeing, and experiencing more than I could have ever given him in our little city we live in.
You see I believe God never had the intention to harm Isaac. God was seeing who Abrahams first love was. When we are put to the test it hurts, and it is never quit what we think it should be. God isn’t looking for easy. God was preparing Caelum for great things. He was seeing if we as a family are who we say we are and if we will do what we say we are going to do. When he takes you out of your comfort he is teaching you to be stronger than you ever thought was possible. Its been 6 months since I have seen my child, and man do I miss him. But what I have learned about myself has been priceless. I as a mom will always be my children’s number one fan. I can love, encourage and support them no matter how far way from me they are. God called me to be Caelum’s mom, and with that he equipped me to pray for what he needs at the given time. Never underestimate the power of a praying momma!!
