My entire life has revolved around faith. My father has been a full-time minister since before I was born. I’ve spent my life traveling with my family all over the south following Yeshua and ministering in complete obedience. I graduated from Faith Academy, a private high school, where I was class president. The required uniforms had “Faith” embroidered somewhere on it. On my 18th birthday I got my first tattoo; and of course “Faith” was placed on my left wrist. My faith has been tested countless times in my 22 years of existence but is stronger now than ever before. My family and I have always been fully dependent upon the Lord to provide and it has been the gnarliest adventure ever. Now my faith has led me on the race and I have a new family to experience this incredible adventure with. In my past and especially in my present, I’ve learned to literally walk by Faith and not by sight.
In China where Communism had ruled for nearly a century and Christianity is illegal, it seemed like all hope had been lost and I became very discouraged. In China the government controls the number of children you may have as well as the gender. They also decide what school the kids will attend and what degree they must pursue. Life can seem completely hopeless and pointless at times but it is all these people have ever known. My anticipation was at an all-time high and I couldn’t wait to share the love of Christ at the University with the college students who were being forced to major in something they had not chosen for themselves. All the students loved talking with Americans but were not responding to the gospel at all. I thought my efforts to make disciples had been in vain and that I was possibly wasting my time. I didn’t understand why I was there and my faith was pretty obsolete. I continued to pray and seek the Lord and at the end of the month in an coffee shop, I led two college students to God. This was a first for me, to lead foreigners to Christ. The joy I felt was—and is to this day— inexplicable.
In Thailand where sex trafficking literally surrounds you, it is very easy to become discouraged and quite frankly pissed. The spiritual warfare of this country was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was meeting kids who had been sold for days at a time to pay off old debts of their parents. I was literally being grabbed and pulled into “Massage Shops” by women and lady boys. I met people who had been saved from that lifestyle and others who were still trapped. Hearing their stories completely wrecked my life and I spent countless nights emotionally and spiritually distraught. I dealt with emotions I didn’t even know existed and I had no idea where to even begin with God. How can He do this? How could He allow this? My faith at this point had went on vacation and was no where to be found. I was so focused on what I saw: devastation, pain and confusion. The innocence of children being completely destroyed and adults whose only way of livelihood was selling themselves. I felt like Peter when he took his eyes off Jesus and began looking at the ocean beneath his feet. I was terrified and desperate for Christ’s aid. Christ spoke to me in many different ways in Thailand. Physically, spiritually and mentally He taught me to lean not on my own understanding and not to bother trying to make sense of the chaos in this life. While there I had the privilege of building a home for children that are at a high risk of being sold into the sex trade. We only began laying the foundation of a home that would house approximately 40 boys. Christ taught me that the foundation affects the entire home. What goes in at the beginning affects greatly what comes out at the end. The foundation is the most important; the foundation of my faith is to be His love and His love alone.
In Cambodia where millions were killed in the 1970’s, the average age of the population is around 21 years old. As a result of this genocide and young age, the people of Cambodia often do not have high morals. In fact, they would think nothing of stealing from foreigners. At this point in my race I was completely full of Joy! I was teaching 10 english classes a day and preaching on the weekends in one of the most beautiful countries I had ever seen. My teammate, Lindsey, and I were finishing up teaching an english class at a nearby school and we decided to teach the kids how to play hangman. We each had our own class and I finished before her and decided to join her class. As I walked into the room I looked up at the board and read:
C R I S T I A N.
The kids had guessed every letter except one. We weren’t one hundred percent sure if it was ok to share christ in these schools filled with Hindu and Buddhist kids. Lindsey saw this as an opportunity and seized it. The Cambodian teacher translated and told us that they had never heard of this man named JESUS and wanted to know who He was. My jaw hit the floor and my heart stopped. Lindsey looked at me and handed me the dry erase marker. My mind began to race as I tried to find a starting point. “What year is it?” I asked the class. They responded correctly “2013.” “Jesus Christ was a man who died 2013 years ago,” I said as I was also writing on the board. I went on to tell the class that everyone on the planet tells time by the existence of one man. This immediately got their attention and they all began writing down everything I was writing on the board. They hung on every word with anticipation as I shared the gospel with them for the first time. This was—and still is to this day— the most amazing experience of my life. It was in this month that God began to reveal to me that “Faith” is all that I have and that faith is really all that matters in this life. For by grace, through faith we are saved. Without faith what do we have? What hope? What future? What reason or motive to live each day in a world that is really jacked up?
Now here I am in Malaysia, in a country where Christianity is illegal and almost everyone is muslim. And again I am teaching English classes. For safety reasons we aren’t allowed to use Christian terminology which is extremely frustrating and aggravating. I have finally started taking one step at a time in complete faith but I can’t even say the name of JESUS, let alone share him. I can’t verbally share the gospel for the sake of my ministry contact’s safety and mine. I’m experiencing a challenge that is completely foreign. How do I share the gospel without words? Can God move and impact people without my words? That was probably the most ignorant question I have ever asked. haha God has taught me the simplicity of the gospel this month. The word gospel means “good news.” 1 John 4:8 simply declares “ God is Love.” John 3:16 says that “God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That’s by far the best durn news I’ve ever heard. God’s love isn’t conditional. His love isn’t based on how good I am or bad I am. His love is unconditional and all I have to do is believe, have FAITH! His love is connected to giving (John 3:16). To share the gospel is much more than just words. It’s giving your most prized possession: your life, your time, your love. It’s giving love to anyone and everyone no matter who they are or what they’ve done. The will of the father is this: to love your neighbor as yourself and to love your enemy. If you learn to live the gospel you won’t have to say a word; your life will be loud enough!
It doesn’t matter where you are on this rock called “Earth” or what chapter of life you’re currently writing; if you walk by sight you are destined to become discouraged. You will possibly give up. At times on the race I have become completely disgusted with my life. I have become so enraged with anger towards my selfish ambition and mentality. I’ve become completely wrecked and left in ruins. There have been so many times where the opportunity to give up has seemed logical and even the only option, but FAITH grows from endurance.
And guess what?…. FAITH WORKS…. And what is Faith? Faith is the evidence of things hoped for but not yet fully seen. What do you hope to see? Look through your spirit. Close your physical eyes (when you finish reading haha). See through His eyes! Look around you right now. There is an abundance of evidence! Do you see it?
