I caught myself saying the F-word alot in the first three months of the race. Usually out of spite, I hated that word and just had to complain about it. But then somewhere in Thailand (month 4) I got very comfortable with it. I liked it. I supported it. I threw it around with love. I couldn’t get enough of it. F you, F me. F the people at home. (: I hope by now you’ve figured out that I’m talking about FEEDBACK!!!! hahaha
I know, I probably went too far. You can Feedback me in the comments. 😉
Anyways – I wish I would have found a blog about this before I left for the race. But instead I learned the hard way. I think either way – is the hard way. However, future racers, if you take the time to read this and apply it; I can guarantee it will make feedback better. It will ALWAYS be awkward with a new team, but just embrace it!
First I would like to go over what exactly feedback is and how to go about giving and receiving it. It’s really much easier than it’s been portrayed to be. I hated it because my heart wasn’t in the right place. As soon as I began embracing it instead of fighting, it changed my life. I mean it!!! It CHANGED MY LIFE, for real! Well I guess, technically, Jesus changed my life, through my teammates using feedback.
Feedback – |'fed?bak|
noun
1 information about reactions to a product, a person's performance of a task, etc., used as a basis for improvement.
That pretty much sums it up. Feedback is just a way to call people UP into who God has called them to be. It’s a neat tool that I will absolutely be carrying over into normal life. It is always given out of love (when done correctly). It never tears down a persons character.
Giving & Receiving feedback is important. You signed up for the World Race, not the Girl Scouts. You’re not here to people please or sell delicious cookies. (No offense, Girl Scouts – don’t ever stop selling those tasty treats.)
Here are some tips from an expert (me).
RECEIVING
JUST SAY THANK YOU – I cannot stress this enough.
2. Resist the urge to justify.
3. You need time to process.
Take it to God, before responding.
Even if its a misunderstanding, take this opportunity to humble yourself.
GIVING
1. Be Observant.
2. Give Examples.
3. If you’re offended, if the thing this person did or said hurts your feelings or makes you mad, PRAY ABOUT IT – get to the bottom of why it offended you. Take it to them. Do not feedback them, tell them how you felt when they did/said what they did/said.
4. Prepare feedback before going to team time/ feedback/ circle friend time…whatever you end up calling it. Don’t make it up on the spot anymore than you have to.
5. Be your own best friend and try out different ways to bring feedback, maybe you’re better at giving it outside of the group, maybe you need to write it down and read it to them, MAYBE you’re really good at just bringing it to the group like suggested.
– Personally, I really like getting a written note after getting feedback, then I can really unpack it later with the Lord – because its right in my hands.
Pay attention to patterns, this goes along with #1. When you see things happening over and over it is IMPERATIVE that you take it to the Lord and really sort out what’s going on and then take it to them in feedback. Negative Patterns can easily become offenses. Don’t know what I’m talking about, get excited. 3 months with the same 7 people is… eye opening – to say the least.
If you are awarded the honor of being in charge of feedback, get creative. There is nothing worse than Open Feedback 6 days in a row.
That brings me to my next topic, different options for feedback.
These are by no means the only options, I’m just putting these out there for ideas to get you started.
Open Feedback – Sit in a circle and give each other feedback any which way.
Are you ready for the worst 10 to 90 minutes of your life? Good, go ahead and open the floor for open feedback. The only times Open Feedback is acceptable is when you’ve just had a long day of manual labor OR if its tacked on to the end of something else.
(Ex. – You just shared monologues and you wanna make sure that any necessary feedback gets shared.)
Hot Seat – One person is in the “Hot Seat” and they receive feedback.*
Honestly this is one of my favorites. Either the Hot Seater gets general feedback from everyone or they ask a question and receive answers. SUPER beneficial, but easily could become ineffective due to the Hot Seater becoming overwhelmed. Feedback should be a safe place, who ever is moderating should make it clear that this is not a bash session and pay attention and look for signs of distress. lol It sounds intense because it IS! (: But seriously, one of my favorites.
Shot Gun – Each person has two guns/hands shaped like guns, one constructive, one positive. Shoot whoever you want.
Just a way to mix it up and practice giving both constructive and positive.
Monologue – Each person is asked to write a monologue about where they are in their walk
This is a really cool thing to do with your team. It’s an easy way to get your creative juices flowing. It can be as literal or figurative as you want. It’s a neat way to get to know your team and learn about where they are and what you can pray for. Once a month, once a continent? You can figure that out. 😉
Lists of the Bible -Find a list, talk about which ones you’re good at, the ones you’re not so good at, what you see in your teammates.
This is a neat opportunity to speak into your teammates, My team and I have done the fruits of the spirit Galatians 5 and Love 1 Corinthians 13 – But any list will do!
Character Comparisons – Pick a movie, book, tv show etc, decide who’s who.
This has the potential to be hilarious or hurtful, choose wisely. I’ve been called Paul from the bible, slinky from toy story and That brat kid who pokes the fish tank from Finding Nemo. Be sure to explain why! Super Fun!
Next Month -Everyone draws a name and prays about that person and speaks into their next month.
Obviously this is for the end of the month, this can be super beneficial.
Write One Down, Pass it Around – A Bug Lawson Original. WODPIT is exactly what it sounds like. You have a piece of paper with someones name on it. The moderator poses a question or a prompt and you write an answer and pass it and repeat.
This is the result of being super burnt out on feedback. I’m so glad I was. (:
AND it can be as serious or silly as you want.
Here are some examples –
1. 3 words to describe this person
2. A verse
3. A song or lyric
4. A word
5. Superhero likeness
6. A prayer
Flash Prayers – Cut up paper into Flash Card sized pieces, number them, pass them out. Every one spends time praying and writing / drawing whatever they feel God saying. Then in the end they’re sorted into piles and names are drawn for each number.
This one is a bit time consuming. But realllllly good.
Match Game – 2 cups/ cup your hands if nothing else. THIS IS THE WORLD RACE, Get Creative. Put your names in a cup and questions in the second cup. Each person draws from each cup, if they get themselves, draw again. You can either ask the person you drew, the question or answer the question as if the person you drew asked.*
Creativity. Get into it.
For Hot Seat and Match Game – here are some really good questions.
How do you perceive me?
How has your perception of me changed?
What is a way for me to better love you?
Do you feel loved by me?
What is my role on this team?
What is something I could improve on?
What do you see as my biggest struggle currently?
What do you feel God is calling me to lay down?
What are some of my habits?
What ministry could you see me in?
What do you perceive to be my spiritual giftings?
Other things that make Feedback better
Snacks. My teammate Pamela went home for a wedding in July and we’re still eating skittles.
Laughter, don’t take it TOO seriously. It’s a serious thing, but you don’t have to feel constrained.
Spending time outside of ministry together. If you don’t hang out, how do you observe!?
One on one’s. Invest in your team. Know them, their stories, their struggles..do it!
I hope this was helpful and not dreadfully boring. Happy Feedbacking! (:
