Today, I hit the half way point. From here on out time flies. At least that's what I've heard. I'm only half way done. IF I don't hit my final financial deadline, I'm going home. I'm not ready. God has me here for a reason. When I look back at Month 1 and think how far I've come, its unbelievable. I can't even imagine what's in store for the next 5 months.
Let’s take a mind road trip back to Month 1, January – Costa Rica. I had no idea what I was walking into. The trip I had been waiting on, praying for, spending all my money on, was finally here. I was excited and terrified and completely taken by surprise. Expectations that I didn’t even know I had were shattered. I dove right into my team. We all shared our testimonies and what we were struggling with right off the bat. We loved each other hard. Some of my favorite memories are from that time.
Nothing could have prepared me for the roller coaster of emotion that was month 1. We were incredibly busy and every day was different. We would gather for nightly feedback, dragging our bodies into one room and flopping down on the hardwood, trying our best not to doze off. I’m so glad I never fell asleep, because I can’t imagine missing one second of all the crazy.
January was a month of God dragging out all of my issues, pointing things out to my teammates and enabling them to call me up. It was hard. We weren’t with any other teams, we were forced to bond. There were a lot of tears. There were a lot of awkward moments. I can’t remember a day without sweat. We had to be bold and tell each other the hardest truths.
My team drove me crazy every single day.
I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
At the end of Costa Rica I felt somewhat overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do with these new revelations. I didn’t know how to let go of my habits and Ungodly traits. I’ll name JUST a few of the things I was faced with.
1. My unmatched ability to cut someone with a witty response in .2 seconds.
2. Unwillingness to be vulnerable.
3. Dependency on others.
4. HOMESICKNESS
5. Laziness
6. Entitlement Complex
7. Selfishness
8. The way I used humor as a wall to keep people at a distance
Although these things may seem small or unimportant. They shook me to my core. I had lovely teammates calling me up constantly and I was majorly overwhelmed. By the time travel day rolled around I was so relieved that we would be with the rest of my squad mates, that it made saying goodbye to our contacts and friends way easier than it should have been.
In Nicaragua, God showed me a picture of myself sitting inside my toy box. When I was a child I did this a lot. I spent time thinking and imagining and playing sitting amidst all of my toys. In my closet, somewhat hidden by clothes hanging above it, I was in my own little world.
Before this vision I imagined myself wading around in a sewer. My team had dug up all this crap and I was stuck in it. Nope. I was in a beautiful place. I was on the edge. I had things to accomplish so I had to get done playing with my toys. In order to become an adult, you have to stop “playing” with the things that hold you back.
I have since then left the toy box and stepped into a new role. This new role comes with a whole new toy box of its own, though. I’m not done. There are many many toy boxes in life. I intend to sit in all of them, when the time is right. I believe that everything happens for a reason and you’re in a season, right when you are, because thats where you’re supposed to be.
God has me here, peeking over the edge of my next toy box. I know that this is where I belong. The opportunities I’m supposed to be seizing, the hurts I’m mean’t to suffer through, the people I’m to fall in love with… they’re here. They’re in Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya, Nepal and India. I’m half way through, Only half way.
I didn’t come here to make it half way.
God’s not done here and Neither am I.
Here’s where you come in. I am $2000 short. My deadline is July 1st. If God can bring me over $5000 in one month, he can handle $2000 in 2 weeks. I’ve seen God perform miracles through you guys. So please pray for God to send you some extra cash these next 2 weeks and let me know if you can help.
To donate:
To Give by Credit Card – You can click the Support Me tab on the left of my blog.
To send a check – Make it out to AIM and on the memo line write LAWSONTAYLOR
Send that baby to:
Adventures In Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA, 30353-4470
