Sophomore year of college, thanks to my good friend Dave and Starbucks, I was introduced to someone that had encompassed everything I needed at that time, Kalin. A friend who gave the greatest hugs, which often left me crying. A friend that made me feel so loved and appreciated. A friend that told me I deserve greatness and not to settle for anything less. (stayed tuned for a new blog on this topic)
I loved her then just as much as I love her now. We lived right across from each other, we had almost all the same classes, and worked at Starbucks together. We eventually connected with our other dear friend Bailey. Altogether, I felt like I found my home away from home. They became a place of comfort and love and individuality. It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies though. At one point in our friendship I became frustrated with the ways we communicated to each other. Selfishly, I putmostof blame on one or the other. I didn’t like their tone, I didn’t like how things were spoken to me. I mentally tore our friendship apart. And I only let myself take some of the blame.
I distanced myself because that’s how I did things. I didn’t have the courage to speak up and resolve the conflict, so I ran away. I’ve done it before, so why not do it again. Did it work before? No. Did it work this time? No.
With some hard conversations and a little bit of work, I still get to call them my friends. BUT GUYS I HAVE THE COOLEST BEST FRIENDS. Gosh watching them talk about their passions, they always embrace everyone with love and make sure everyone is safe. And although I love talking about my friends, this blog has a different purpose.
At the end of Month Two one of my incredible coaches, Charlene, said something that triggered all this to come back. She said, “A lot of times the imperfections we see in others, are imperfections that we don’t see in ourselves.” And woah.
If you remember back to the last blog, I mentioned how I had a difficult time with how I communicated to others on my team and how my tone reflected differently than I meant. So, all these things I noticed in these two friends at the time were things that I didn’t know were an issue with myself. God though, He has a funny sense of humor. Two years later I understand why our friendship had to struggle, but in that I found so much beauty. This also just really made me reflect on other failed friendships and whether my communication was a problem them. Accepting forgiveness within for hurting others in the process.
My communication is still a learning process and I am figuring out what works best from me for others. But I thank my best friends from years back for stirring something inside me.
Love,
B
I am still fundraising to be fully funded by the end of January. This is where y’all come into play. Since I am not on social media, if you could share my blogs and my story. I have around $5000 left to raise and whether you feel called to donate or just to share, both are a huge help and will get me one step closer. I can’t thank all my supporters enough, together we’ve raised over $13,000 and God has provided big and I know He isn’t done.
