Friday afternoon I found myself seated in a little wooden chair in an unfamiliar house held up by some flimsy wood & tarps. I’m not exactly sure how I ended up here, after some crowded bus rides up the mountains of Manantiales & questionable trails through poverty stricken streets, my feet found themselves being greeted by a little lady with a limp inviting us into her house. This was Mrs. Gloria & this is her story.
Myself & 6 other World Race friends crowded into the tiny, one bedroom house. We sat down feeling a bit unqualified, & unsure of what to expect. Mrs. Gloria asked to hear our stories: why we came to Colombia, who we are, & who Jesus is to us. After hearing our testimonies of our lives being radically transformed by the saving grace of Jesus, she opened up a bit of her own story. As she spoke, we could tell she just longed to be accepted & loved. Her tone showed she was seeking something more, something better. Mrs. Gloria accepted Jesus as her Savior six months ago but explained that she goes to prayer meetings occasionally, then falls off & goes back to living in ways she wishes she wouldn’t. It reminded me a bit of my story. I felt her frustration in my core. She explained that she feels bad going to church because she “likes to drink a lot & is usually hungover.” She is raising her two children alone, & her son has ran off to drugs. She talked about how she wanted to fix her life but it seemed impossible. The weight she carried was felt in the atmosphere of the conversation. As she spoke, her words manifested the chains that she wore of shame, guilt, & condemnation. My chest filled with a heartbeat of pain for the sorrow she was experiencing, but also a throbbing impulse to proclaim Truth over her. The Spirit took over my words in prayer & told Mrs. Gloria that nothing she does or doesn’t do can separate her from the love of God. That she is loved so fully, & that she is seen & cherished by her Father in Heaven. That His love covers her sin & her circumstances. That she is a daughter of the Living God & that identity alone makes her unfathomably valuable. That she didn’t have to fix herself, that Jesus wants to help her and show her “life abundant.” (John10:10) Her shoulders appeared to have a weight lifted off of them, & her face lit up in a way that only happens when the Spirit of God is present.
While hugging Mrs. Gloria goodbye, I soaked in one last view of her little home & sweet smile. Something in my spirit clicked & God took me to a place that I’d never been before. He showed me a timeline of my life. He showed me His reckless pursuit after me.
God showed me He’s been there all along with open arms even when I rejected Him. 3 AM sitting on my stairway listening to family fight all night, He was sitting beside me offering comfort. Crying in the bathroom stall during lunch, He was there wanting to heal my hurt. In the fits of abuse I experienced, He was there wanting to protect. Each time I looked in the mirror & hated what I saw, He was calling me beautiful. Every time I ran to the counterfeits of love that the world offered me, He was there offering Divine Love that completely satisfied instead. At the high school parties trying to find identity, He was there offering me adoption to Heaven. In the moments of confusion, hurt & anger, He was there asking me to let Him calm my storm. In my room that night I contemplated my own life, He was there saying I was worth hanging on the Cross for. He has always been there, He has always been the answer to my questions I sought out in all the wrong ways. Over & over again I ignored His loving, gentle invitation to know Him, yet He stayed committed to me. My unfaithfulness never affected His faithfulness. When I finally decided I wanted to know Him, He was there, waiting patiently. His grace covered me. I don’t deserve, I couldn’t have earned it, but He joyfully and freely gave it to me.
And now He led my footsteps here: in Mrs. Gloria’s little house somewhere in the mountains of Manantiales. In this moment I see He’s recklessly pursuing her, just like He pursued me for so long. He guided us, 7 students from America, to collide with Mrs. Gloria’s path just to show her how much He loves her. To show her that there is so much more to life than the years she spends on earth, that she has an inheritance in Heaven. To show her that He desires her. He loves her with a love that has no limits or restrictions. That even in the midst of her unlovely circumstances, He loved her enough to substitute His life for hers on the Cross & He would do it all over again.
He never gave up on me. And now He’s allowing me to be a character in His great story of His pursuit of others just like Mrs. Gloria. I am wrecked with gratitude. I’m learning new depths of His love, new heights of His freedom, & that to follow Jesus is the GREATEST adventure I could ever imagine.
This is only the beginning!
Praying that who ever reads this sees that the Lord is recklessly pursuing you too. // I am asking for big prayers: for my squad and the people we are reaching. I also have about $5,000 to fundraise to be able to stay on the field for the next 9 months so if you feel called to help financially, it is so so appreciated! My the Lord bless you and keep you in peace, joy, & faith!
