I got sick, reallll sick. Doctors may diagnose it as a parasite, something I ate, who knows. But my Spirit convinces me it was God. I was devestated to have to stay home alone while my squad had ministry. But while laying bedridden in my cold, dark, foreign room, God spoke to me: “Be still and know that I am God.” What God?? Be still?? But I thought I’m on the World Race do the opposite of “be still”??
My comfortable life in America convinced me that the world was alright; 2 weeks in Colombia convinced me otherwise. Certain experiences are now vividly engraved in my memory forever- toddlers abandoned & neglected on the streets, grown adults fighting over a piece of bread for dinner, a one bedroom shack housing a 9 member family, daughters forced by their fathers into prostitution to provide family income, & humans so taken over by drugs that they don’t appear to be human anymore. The poverty & perversity were once stories I’d occasionally hear on the news about darkness in “other countries;” now they’re tangibly in front of me. They’re everyday realities of my neighbors here. I can look at these people in the eyes; I can hold them & hear their voice shake as they tell me their stories.
Each time my heart breaks over one of these situations, my first instinct is to want to fix their lives, to carry all their burdens, to save them. But slowly & painfully on this sick day, God brought me to the realization I wasn’t here to do any of that. I didn’t come here to save. I’m not the Savior of these souls, nor am I the Answer to their problems. But He is. God knew I was nearly suffocating myself under the burden of wanting to save these people & not being able to. Frustrated with the incapability to do something I was never even supposed to do. So, He laid me down, sick in bed, & spoke a Psalm into my heart: “Be still and know that I am God.” I realized all the pain & hurt that I felt for these people, God felt more intensely. He’s the Creator of our emotions & they’re only a glimpse of the ability He has to feel. He loves these people so much- more than I ever could, He’s closer to them than I could ever be & He’s eternally committed to being their Savior. He is at work in their lives & He works out everything perfectly in His timing. As followers, we can bring food, water, hope, encouragement, love, & kindness into these people’s lives but we cannot save them. We can follow Jesus & go where He leads, & He’ll use us, but we cannot take on His role as Savior.
During house visits, we met a sweet grandmother; she was widowed, jobless, & attempting to provide for & raise her 27 year old disabled grandson. She lived in the midst of poverty, & what could have been extreme depression. But her smile told a different story; when we asked her about her hope, she told us it was Jesus. She had nothing, but possessed everything: the Treasure of her life was Jesus Christ, & nothing else mattered. If I had attempted to “save her” I might’ve found her a new husband, bought her a house & car, fed her more food, & encouraged her with my words; but that wouldn’t have ever been enough. Thankfully I’m not her Savior & Jesus is: He gave her life & life abundant. He gave her completely satisfying joy in this life, & a promise for inheritance in Heaven with Him forever! In Him, she found comfort, safety, joy, hope & love in full. She is content, & confident as a child of God. She is truly happy. She has a hope and an assurance of her life Eternal. He is a good Savior, a good Father, & He is simply God.
“Be still and know that I am God.” The Lord will make us characters in His story, He’ll use us to bring others to Him, but He alone is the only one that can save. He’s the way, the life, the truth, let us be still & recognize that He is fully & eternally in control. I am seeing God alive and moving in the mountains of Monantialles.
I still have $4,556 to fundraise to continue on the field, you can donate by clicking “Donate!” on the main page, and I value prayers and words of encouragement so heavily. Thank you everyone for the overwhelming support! Because of you all, I am seeing the Kingdom fall on earth here in Colombia. God is so good.
