We are both sitting in Thamel, Nepal soaking up the sun and sipping coffee as we enjoy our first weekend off as a married couple on the Race. Our team surprised us by paying for our hotel for TWO nights, placing flowers and Cadbury Oreo chocolate bars in our room, and every single one of them wrote us a handwritten letter. Oh my, we feel blessed like you wouldn’t believe. It’s one thing to enjoy the day off celebrating love for another, but it’s even better because we feel a tidal wave of love & support from our team [more like our family!].
We decided we want to answer these same three questions at the end of every month- so here goes!
What was the hardest part about marriage on the race in month one?
Bryce: For me, the hardest part of the Race has been finding balances. I spent a lot of month 1 finding a balance of experiencing ministry and the world with my best friend, but also letting Kimmy have her own wonderful Race experience [and the same for myself]. We also had to find a balance of time with our team and time where it was just the two of us AND separate time alone with the Lord. As we’ve figured these things out, we’ve been able to see just how awesome married life on the Race can and will be for the following 10 months!
Kimmy: To be completely candid, it wasn’t extremely easy, but we rarely found ourselves feeling too hard-pressed. The most difficult part for us was creating alone time. There would be many times we would disagree about something or be super excited about something- and we didn’t have the space to express it [which, if you’re an ESFJ like me, this is really hard to wait on!]. We definitely had to get creative and have secret talks in our tent, on the side of the compound by the trash or in the corner behind other people speaking Telugu. We had to learn patience to discuss things later, which ultimately taught me that if you wait a few hours, those things that bothered you didn’t seem to matter anymore. praises!
What was the best part about marriage on the race in month one?
Bryce: First of all, imagine being able to take an 11 month vacation/honeymoon with the love of your life. That’s how great the Race is when you’re married! Sure, it’s more challenging than an actual vacation due to difficult ministries and being around other people every second of every day. But those challenges make your relationship that much stronger and such a powerful tool that God uses in many new ways. Another part of marriage on the Race that I love is the fact that [whether you want to or not] you have a side ministry within your team/squad. You get to show 55 people what a strong Christian marriage can look like, which may be something many of them may not have been able to see growing up. I don’t say that to add pressure to your relationship or to say that you have to have everything figured out all the time, but part of the beauty of this ministry is that these people get to see you walk through figuring things out together. A recurring theme for us through month 1 has been, Matthew 6:33:
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Kimmy: EVERYTHING. We thought marriage was awesome- well, let me tell you, it just gets 40x richer when you’re on the Race. We absolutely feel drenched in love by our teammates, encouraged by seeing each other pursue the Lord and excited to dream together! If you’re reading this and debating on whether you should go or not, together- GO.
Best advice for marriage on the race in India?
Bryce: The best advice I can give for India is to be flexible. I know this is something that applies to all aspects of the Race for everyone, but if you adopt this into your marriage early on you’ll definitely reap the benefits. You may have plans away together that get swept out from under you at the last second. You may have to sleep in separate rooms [check out Eric and Krystal Frias’ blog for more info on this] due to cultural boundaries. Or you may have to learn how to love your spouse in new ways on the fly. But, through all of these things, know that the Lord’s plan is perfect and you’ll start to see the beauty in all the changes. We wouldn’t want to experience India in any other way!
Kimmy: Something we learned very quickly after arriving India is that is the most opposite culture to America. We were warned that it was an 180 degree switch, but we didn’t fully realize it until we were eating with our hands, squatting to use the bathroom and covering every inch of your body at ALL times [if you’re a woman, that is]. It’s not culturally appropriate to show any affection to male counterparts, even when you’re married. So, we didn’t hold hands often or kiss. We had to learn to be affectionate with our words and actions! This was definitely a new thing for us to learn, but I think it strengthened our marriage to think outside the box. Also, you WILL get sick, and you will vomit, have the the runs, vomit, have the runs again… etc. so you will definitely get to test the whole “in sickness & health” promise. 🙂
