To the Girl Addicted to Porn,
You are not alone. You are not disgusting. You are not unforgivable. And you will not be stuck in this place forever. More women struggle with pornography than you may realize.
Some days are better than others, aren’t they? You feel like you finally have control over yourself, then a stressful day comes along and you instantly find yourself failing again. You pray that God would take away the desire you feel but it overcomes your prayers and you give in. The shame that comes after is worse than the desire initially was. It makes you feel as if you can’t talk to God because you told Him last time would be your “last time”. You feel as if you have exceeded the number of times He can forgive you. It feels like you will never overcome the addiction, but I am here to tell you, you can. You will.
As you struggle to gain control over your temptation, you will fail. There will be times you fall but I encourage you to get back up and try again. It took me 9 years to overcome my desires. 9 years of shame and guilt. 9 years of secrets and embarrassment. I would act as if I didn’t care what God thought, give in to temptation, and then feel sick with shame for hours after. I wished I could tell someone like me who could understand the struggle. And even when I found them, I was too ashamed to ask for help.
After years of battling with myself and God, I finally gave in and told one person I barely knew. I explained how I felt and what I looked at in private. They didn’t judge or say anything really, just nodded and asked how I expected God would react if I told Him in person. I realized He would have grace and hug me as if I was the prodigal son. As if I had been lost for so long and was finally being found. God opened my eyes to the fact that His forgiveness exceeds that of 70×7, it is eternal as long as I trust and follow Him.
After that first person, I built up the courage to tell a close friend, then a group of friends and finally, my parents. I witnessed the power the devil had over me diminish each time I told someone new. It was as if my guilt and shame were replaced by love and grace each time I revealed my sin to someone and my desire grew less and less. By the time I told my parents, I was confident that God had completely healed me from my past addiction. The weight that had been on my shoulders for 9 years finally lifted and I felt completely renewed. It was by God’s grace that I was able to overcome the addiction many of us women face.
So, with all this being said, I want to let you know that the Journey will be hard, and you may fail many, many times. But I encourage you not to focus on the times you fall, but on each time you get back up and stay there. No matter how long you have struggled, God has been with you the entire time and wants to set you free.
If you are looking for someone to connect with, I am 100% willing to be that random person for you to talk to. I would love to pray with you and talk with you about what God has done and can do. Thank you for being such an amazing woman and for not giving up.
Love,
The Girl Who Overcame
Email – [email protected]
