I have really struggled with my identity since I have been on the race, making it hard for me to connect with my squad. I realized last week that I, once again, have been looking to others for affirmation and definition. As it came to my attention that I was doing this, I decided to go directly to God with the question I have always sought the answer to.
Now, I have always wanted to hear God’s voice in the form of words and visions, but I have never figured out how to do it. I recently gave up on trying to connect with Him in this way due to the fact that I was becoming frustrated with never hearing anything. This time, however, I thought I would try a different technique. During worship one night, I began to write down my thoughts to God…
God,
I want you to tell me who I am. I keep claiming that I am unsure of my true self but I have never turned to You for the answer. I realize that I am always looking to those around me for my identity and I just now am understanding that it cannot be found there. So, God, I am turning to you for an answer, who am I? Who did you make me be and why?
-Brooklynn
As I listened to the music, I began to feel words build in the back of my mind. They didn’t make sense initially so I began to write. The rest of the world had faded away and it was just the paper, God, and me. Words flowed from my pen and it wasn’t until the music became audible again that I realized what I had just written. This is what God said to me…
Brooklynn, My little Warrior,
I have made you strong and independent, yet not so independent that you no longer need Me. You have always sought to be good at one specific area in your life but I have made you good at many things because I have created you for more than just one thing. Just as, my daughter, Ariel has told you before, I have instilled all gifts in you. Continue to listen and lean into Me and I will, in time, show you how I want you to use them. Brooklynn, My beautiful daughter, you mean so much to Me and I am already so proud of all you have done for Me and My kingdom. I want you to know that you are wise and people want to listen to you. You will soon have a major impact on someone’s life and I will be with you through it all. Remember that everything good comes from Me and that I will bless you immensely if you continue down the path you are on. However, I warn you, temptation and anger still have a hold on you. If you trust me enough, I will gladly take these burdens for you. Trust and love me as I trust and love you.
-Dad
I was shaking with excitement once I was done reading the response. God had really talked to me! The rest of the week I asked more questions and He continued to respond in the same way. For those of you who struggle with hearing the voice of God, I encourage you to try different ways of listening to Him. He speaks to everyone in different ways and just because this method worked for me, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you. Continue to trust in Him and have faith that He wants to communicate with you. As long as you are seeking out the Giver of the gifts and not the gifts, He will speak to you and your heart, just as He did for me.
