Okay guys, we’re diving deep. Suffering. Hurt. Sorrow. Pain. These aren’t fun topics to talk about by any means, but we all deal with them in our lives. Whether it’s an inconvenience that ruins your day, or the loss of a family member, we’ve all felt pain. And it can be so, so easy to blame God for that. When there’s no explanation for why what happened, happened, it’s easy to turn and get mad at the one in control. Especially when your relationship with God may already be struggling, or completely nonexistent.
This weekend has been tough for me. We lost a member of our family in January, and tomorrow is his birthday. While the pain is there some days more than others, it’s raw this weekend. Because he isn’t here to celebrate with us, to feel his daughter jump into his arms, to eat his poke cake with whipped cream frosting. It just isn’t the same. It hurts.
I haven’t dealt with much death in my life, which I am thankful for. I grew up knowing God and knowing that those who passed away weren’t really gone, they had just moved on to everlasting life with the Father. I have never seen death as the end point, but just as a transition. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Losing someone close to you can be heartbreakingly, unbearably, takes-your-breath-away, painful. It can make you want to curl up into a ball and never move again. It can make you cry until you don’t think you have any tears left in your body. And sometimes the last thing you want to do is admit it, but God is in control. It’s all part of His plan.
God’s plan. There’s a head scratcher for you. We can’t begin to comprehend it, and if you’re a know-it-all like me, that bugs you. Growing up, whenever my brother would break another bone, I’d just say, “It’s part of God’s plan.” And, yes, I knew what I was saying, but I definitely didn’t understand the depth behind that statement. God wants what is best for each and every one of us. He is madly in love with us, and He knows what will happen in our lives. He feels our pain, but He also knows the goodness that will come from it. Maybe we need to be hurt so we don’t continue making the same mistakes. Maybe the pain now is saving us from even greater pain in the future. Maybe we need to be selfless and accept that we are suffering in order to prevent someone else from experiencing that pain. I don’t know, and maybe we’ll never know why we go through some of the things we go through. But what I do know with absolute certainty is that I trust God with my whole heart. He will make beauty from the ashes, and I am willing to go through whatever He puts me through for the good of His plan.
These words have been on my heart for a while. And honestly, I’m just posting this now so I can read it later when I’m not in a great mindset. When the pain hits hard, and I don’t want to think about God’s reasoning behind it. This blog might help me more than anyone else, but I feel like someone out there needs to read it. And I pray that they can remember that God is with them every second of their life.
God is good, all the time.
And all the time…
With love,
Brooklyn
