Hello everyone! I am so happy to announce that as of today my t-shirts are finalized and I am officially taking orders! The shirts are super soft and available in sizes XS-4XL, and I have them in two different colors. Take a look at the design below 🙂
I wanted to take a quick moment to explain the meaning behind my shirts. The words say “I give up control”, as in giving it all up to God. I’ve always had a control issue – there’s no denying that. I like being in control. I like making a plan, I like sticking to that plan, and I like always knowing what is going on and what is going to happen. I contribute some of this to my anxiety. When I don’t have a plan or don’t know exactly what is going to happen, I freak out. In my mind, that means absolutely anything can happen, and all of the possibilities just overwhelm me. I remember sitting in the car before going into judo practices, my stomach in absolute jumbles. Because I didn’t know exactly what we would be doing at practice. I didn’t know if we’d be learning new things, if we’d be practicing things I already learned but would have to admit I forgot, or if we’d be doing things I had mastered long ago. I just didn’t know. And this is only one of the many situations in which this happened.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become better at controlling my control issue. Hah, ironic right? I’ve been able to jump out of my car and walk right into school, or work, or church, or practices without having to sit there and work up the nerve. But there are still times when I freeze up, overwhelmed by the unknown.
Two summers ago, I discovered the song “Control” by For King & Country. They are my favorite band of all time, and I’ve seen them in concert five times. They have music for literally every mood I’m in, and if you’ve never listened to them I would highly recommend it. Anyway, when I first heard “Control”, I felt a sense of peace like nothing I had ever felt before. Here’s a few of my favorite lyrics, but you should definitely listen to the whole song if you can.
You asked me to let go but I thought I knew better
Afraid of surrender and what I don’t know
I’ve always had a plan but now I’m so weary
And I can’t see clearly, forgot who I am
So won’t You make my eyes Your eyes?
My ears Your ears, my tears Your tears?
And won’t you make my hands Your hands?
My feet Your feet, my dreams Your dreams?
I give up control, oh, oh, whoa
Body, mind, and soul, oh, oh, whoa
Can’t do this on my own, alone, no
I give up control
Just reading the lyrics gives me chills. I can never hear that reminder enough. The reminder that I don’t control everything, and I never will. I have a creator who has my entire life planned out, and He knows every decision I will ever make. He loves me, and He knows what is best for me. No plan I ever make will change that.
When I went to Uganda over the summer, I was terrified because I knew I wouldn’t know everything. I wouldn’t be able to make a plan, because we didn’t always have a plan. I would have to just go with the flow, and I think that was one of the hardest things I ever did. But it also was one of the most rewarding things, because I was forced to accept that God had control. Ever since then, there have been numerous times that I felt God reminding me that He has it all under control. A major one being when I felt called to go on the World Race. Accepting that the plan I had laid out since sophomore year wasn’t going to happen, at least not right away. Because God’s plan for me is bigger and better than I can ever imagine.
So there’s that. A bit of an explanation behind my shirts. I could easily have kept writing, but this is already getting a bit lengthy. If any of you feel called to support me through my t-shirts, please leave a comment below with the size(s) and color(s) you would like, or message me. I will be placing the first order at the end of the month, and am planning on handing them out a week after that. I am asking $20 for the shirts, but I will gladly accept a free-will donation of any amount. You can donate the money through my blog, Venmo me (BrooklynDilley), or give it to me in person. All of the money raised will be going towards supporting my mission trip, so I greatly appreciate any orders!
I just wanted to leave you guys with a few notes:
If you have ever struggled with giving control up to God, like me, I would highly recommend listening to “Control” by For King & Country and “Control (Somehow You Want Me)” by Tenth Avenue North. Also, Jeremiah 29:11 is another great reminder for me. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
Once again, I would like to thank everybody for their amazing support. I know I’ve said this so many times already, but I truly could not do this without you guys. Thank you for helping me share God’s Word with the world. As always, reach out to me if you have any questions, prayer requests, or just want to talk.
With love,
Brooklyn
