Hey everyone! I’m gonna be honest, I have five different half-written blogs just sitting in my Google Drive. When I find the words to finish them, you’ll have lots to read. I promise I’ll post one about Louisiana soon, because that was an amazing experience. But right now, the only thing I’m going to share on that topic is that we’re going back!! We’re leaving this Sunday to head back to DeRidder for another week as a whole squad to try to knock out the rest of their work orders and help them close out the work site!
But as for this blog, I’m going to talk a bit about fasting. On Sunday, one of my squadmates mentioned that the Lord has really been calling her to fast. Without missing a beat, I said I would fast with her. After the words came out of my mouth, it was just like, okay Lord, I guess I’m fasting.
To put it simply, fasting is refraining from food for a certain period of time. Before coming on the race, I thought fasting was just something you did when you wanted to lose weight, or it was something that other religions would do. But as I’ve been here, I’ve learned how beneficial it really can be when it comes to bettering your relationship with the Lord. Fasting isn’t abnormal on the race and I was surprised to hear how many of my squadmates have fasted before, whether it be for 12 hours or even two weeks. So I’ve had the idea of fasting in the back of my mind for a while now, but I hadn’t felt the Lord really calling me to fast until now.
So on Sunday, Chloe and I tried to figure out when we would fast and for how long. Chloe felt the Lord speaking the number ‘six’ over her, but He said no when she asked if we would fast for six days. So we took it to mean six meals, or two days. We then decided when we would start our fast. We both wanted to go for a run at least on Monday, since we hadn’t ran at all the previous week in Louisiana. And Tuesday is taco day here at AIM…the Lord obviously comes before tacos, but if we can combine tacos and the Lord we thought that’d be a good idea. Sooo we decided to start our fast on Wednesday and end it Friday morning.
On Tuesday, two of our squadmates heard that we would be fasting, and decided to join in on it with us. We knew it would be tough, but having a group of four to fast with somehow made it less daunting. And before we knew it, it was Wednesday morning and we were beginning our fast. Honestly, the first two meals weren’t that bad. I’ve definitely slept through breakfast and lunch before at home, so I was justifying it with that in my mind. I’ve done it before, so I could handle it again. Dinner was definitely tough, but I decided to take the meal time and go sit with the Lord for a bit and see what He wanted to teach me through this.
So during dinner, I went to sit on a hill and read my Bible. I was trying to research some good Bible studies to do while fasting, but I couldn’t find anything that was catching my attention. And then I was getting attacked by bugs and couldn’t focus to save my life, and I honestly was getting frustrated. I just wanted to go to bed, but I knew we had worship and team time still left in the night. So I finally went back to my tent, changed into comfier clothes, got a blanket, and found a field to go sit in with the Lord. And I just felt peace.
I was sitting in the field, praying for the Lord to show me something. Just to teach me anything, to show me what I should be learning with the fast. I opened up my Bible to a random page, and came to Psalm 38. Now I don’t know why, but it was bugging me that it wasn’t a multiple of five. I used to have this thing when I was younger, where I would only get out of bed on multiples of five, or only start my homework or workout. I just needed the time to be a multiple of five. I’ve since got over this, so I was surprised when I couldn’t get past it not being Psalm 35 or 40 enough to just read. So I finally gave in and flipped to Psalm 35. I started reading, but wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be getting from the text that related to my current life. And then I got to verses 13-14: “Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth and humbled myself with fasting. When my prayers returned to me unanswered, I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother.” Wow, thanks God.
Humility. I feel like this is a topic everyone can always improve on. Life’s been going pretty well for me lately, and I definitely needed to be reminded that everything I have comes from the Lord. I am nothing without Him, and I forget that sometimes. So I headed into day two of fasting with humility on my heart.
Every time I got hungry or felt weak for the rest of the day Wednesday and all day Thursday, I prayed for the Lord to give me strength and help me humble myself. And oh boy, did I pray that a lot. And the Lord definitely answered. He opened my eyes to how weak I really am. Our human bodies can be destroyed by something so simple as not eating or not drinking. We depend on so many things to survive, things that the Lord provides for us. He made this earth to sustain us, and we literally couldn’t live if He left out even a tiny detail. God is our maker, and He is greater than anything else we may need.
Another way I was humbled during this time was to others. We’ve spent the week in sessions led by OneRace, a group based in Atlanta that teaches on racial reconciliation. I could easily write a whole separate blog on what they taught us, but it centered around all of humanity being equal in God’s eyes. Jesus died for all races and wants us all to bow down together at the foot of the cross. And as I was fasting this week, the reality of all of humanity being equal really set in. It can be so easy to compare yourself to others around you, especially in physical ways. But when it comes down to it, we are all just living in weak bodies. We all rely on sleep, food, water, social interaction, and many other things. We all have the same set of main weaknesses, so who are we to compare ourselves to others? All of our earthly bodies will fail, and that’s just the reality of it. And that’s okay, because we have eternity to spend with our Heavenly Father.
I gained so much more from this fast than I expected to. If nothing else, it is good to just be reminded sometimes of how weak we really are. But the Lord taught me so much, and I can’t wait to fast again in the future. This was truly a humbling experience.
So there’s that! I know this was a long one, so thanks for taking the time to read it! If any of you feel called to fast or have in the past, please let me know how it goes and what you learn/ed! Just remember to be safe about it and lay down your expectations to the Lord. As always, feel free to reach out with prayer requests or just to talk! God bless!
With love,
Brooklyn
