I am just now coming to the realization that this squad leading journey that I have been on has actually, really, altered my life. The hard, the struggle, the sweet, the deep, the fun – all these moments have really changed me. I am once again refined.
What sparked these thoughts was a ‘look back’ at older versions of Brook. I saw a girl that was less confident, less vulnerable, had an unknown capacity, was more self-based, and so on. Note, I am not looking down on this necessary version of me; but I do get to look at the beautiful shift that has taken place. And now, a new woman is standing in front of me: she has endured another round of purification. This woman, that I of course know intimately well and actually embody, is once again new! Come on!
Now, seeing all the growth clearly while still being in the actual season is a challenging thing. But, as I got to look back at all my questions, my emotional pains, my lack of assurance, my insecurities, and my brokenness/darkness I can now see triumph more clearly. I have faced the process of metamorphosis once again (I believe humans shift, change, and grow many times over a life time). I am now looking at a woman who walks in greater anointing and authority, one who knows herself and her wiring more deeply, a human who knows how to lead in character and integrity. Amen!
My Gap C, thank you for traveling on this part of my journey with me. Thank you for giving me the grace to walk, stumble, learn, and run with you. You let me grow right along with you: that is a huge thing. You never expected perfection, you never purposely tested my capacity or strength, you didn’t blame me for the times I was just not there yet. You let me lead you, speak into your lives, and love you with what I had to offer. You let me learn how to lead. The space you gave me here is irreplaceable.
So, here I am 23 years (what do they say? Young?) more grown and ready for the next chapter of life. Thank you, Father, for being faithful here, and thank you that you did it again and will do it again. I will remember all that you have done here, waiting in holy anticipation for the next glory. It is so cool to look back on faithfulness, be living in goodness, and trust expectantly in the bright future. This is the life I get to lead!
I am moving on again. More formed, containing an even more elegant shape. The Lord just keeps adding good, full of life things to me (thank you Jesus). Words fall short when trying to explain the journey that the Lord has me on. But what I can confidently say is that I have changed; my life has been changed once again under the careful and caring eye of my Father and Lover.
