If there’s anything I’ve learned while being on the world race it’s that ministry isn’t always pretty. It’s not always fulfilling and it often times makes me question what I’m doing. I get drained and don’t always feel good enough. While it’s ALWAYS worth it, it’s not glamorous. Sometimes God calls us to places where life is hard and I’m not always happy. We’re not always put in places where we are safe. We have weeks where we don’t know what ministry is or how to help.
Days can get long and tiring and leave me emotionally and spiritually drained. Sometimes it’s frustrating and I don’t always feel as if I’m being of good use, sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing at all.
While I’ve been in Malawi, ministry can go from running Bible studies and playing with children to stacking books in a library for hours. Sometimes it may be filing paperwork in a clinic or helping count pills in a pharmacy all day. But whether I’m reading the Bible to women in a village or if I’m counting pills, it’s all still ministry. It doesn’t matter what it is, God has placed us all in certain situations for a reason. Sometimes ministry isn’t in a church building, sometimes it doesn’t even involve reading a Bible. But no matter what I’m doing, it has to involve a heart for the Lord.
When I told God to use me and send me to places where His love is needed, He didn’t mess up. Sometimes I have to remind myself not to question God as to why I’m in a certain place or doing a certain ministry because He knows exactly what He is doing. Ministry isn’t always beautiful, it’s often times messy. But it’s always worth it. And it’s always what God wants.
“Jesus wants your obedience over your sacrifice. In other words, He wants you. Not what you have to offer”. -Tim Keller
