So, here’s the story. We’re just going to go for it here.
Not too long ago, I had just finished my first semester of college. All things considered, it was rough around the edges, but full of growth and beauty. There was so much hard and so much good. When I came home in December, the old felt so oddly new and the new felt comfortable somehow. Home was in small-town North Carolina, but home was also the quaint city of Lynchburg, surrounded by new friends and countless memories that are so kind to my heart.
One of my first few nights home, I remember feeling a tug in my heart.
I need to start an application for worldrace. Hold on God- that’s crazy. Like really crazy. I figured I’d respond to what I thought was God’s voice and just see what happens. I had no idea I’d be sitting here writing a blog post about how I’ll be spending 9 months on 3 continents dedicated to bringing people the love, truth, and God who has drastically changed my life- both in its essence and its course.
“Yes.” Again and again, the Holy Spirit urged me to keep saying yes- to things that seemed too good to be true and unreasonable and impossible and simply obscure. So, I did- even in the midst of what felt like the craziest, most out of control month of my life. It took me the whole month to finish that application because life just kept piling up. Where there was typically not chaos, oh boy was there chaos now. Looking back, the devil sure was busy trying to keep me from my God and what He was calling me to.
There was one night, I remember it so vividly. Ever since I submitted my application- probably fifty times in a day- I would ask God. What are you going to do with this? Is this even anything realistic? Could this really be where you’re calling me? Then, that one night, I finally heard an answer. “The answer is yes.” I started weeping. I told Him “You have got to be joking.” over and over. “This is too good. You couldn’t have possibly chosen me for this, God. Mission work for 9 months is all I want to spend my time doing.” The fact that this was a little bit more of a possibility just overwhelmed me with hope.
A few weeks later, I’m back at school taking an exam in my 11:15 Spanish class. My phone interview was the day before and the text I’d just received was a little exhilarating but also mildly unsettling. It said something along the lines of “Hey Brooke. We have an update on your gap year application. Give me a call as soon as you can.” I will admit, I may have rushed on that test a little bit, so I could leave class and get on the phone as soon as possible. After that phone call, my life would never be the same. Congratulations. Welcome to the worldrace gap year 2019. My friend Grace was the first to know, and I told her I felt like I had just jumped off a cliff, in the best way possible. I had no idea what was going to happen next, but I was on the edge of my seat.
Then, I had to make a decision. A big, life-altering decision. So, for the next two weeks, I waited and hoped and asked God what to do- again and again and again. I wanted to be sure that this was God’s plan, not mine. I spent countless hours on the phone with my parents. I spent more time than I ever have in prayer. I continued to hide my heart in the word every spare second I had.
I begged God. If this isn’t what you’re calling me to do, slam the door in my face. If it’s something else or some other time, make it clear. If I want mission work more than I want you, break my heart for putting in on the throne instead of you. Again and again I pleaded: God all I want is to glorify you. All I want to to know you more. Worldrace or not. Mission work right now or not. All I want is you. To walk the narrow path even though it’s the harder one. I surrendered all of me over and over. It was scary: what if I chose wrong? What if God is not actually calling me here? I just wanted to be right in the center of God’s will. I was searching for peace. One of the people in my life I admire the most reminded me “let peace be your guide.” I mean, true. You really can’t argue with supernatural peace, can you? And just as God promised me that it would, peace came upon me.
So I did what you could call ‘going out on a limb’; I followed peace. And that’s not necessarily easy- especially when it means taking a year off of school. When your parents don’t have peace about it like you do. When you know you have so much healing to do before you go. And when you have to take risks. But right here, let me just dare to fail- because God might just come through. Be who He has always been. Show up and blow my mind. He might just use this to change my whole life. He might just walk even further into my purpose and see Him work like I never have before.
So, this is me letting God be God. I trust Him.
Thank YOU for being a part of this journey. For walking this with me. This is how I got here- well, at least a little piece of it. I’m excited to see what God does. This is all Him. All I know now is that I never want to stop saying yes. I keep reminding myself I’ve already arrived. I have all I need. Nothing is going to change my life as much as Jesus. The best journey is the one I walk with Him, but that being said, I am so excited that He gave me the race. This opportunity. It’s going to be crazy good. So, this is my yes. This is my obedience.
