A few days ago, I was at Convocation (Liberty University’s twice a week chapel/concert type event that includes metal detectors upon entrance and words and songs that bring me to tears every once in a while) and the Lord gave me a breathtaking picture. But before I get to that, let me tell you about what led to this.
Early that morning I came into the Lord’s presence and poured my heart out. My words I wrote to him were,
“My heart and spirit feel
broken, tattered, and filled with shame.
longing, lonely, waiting.
empty, sad, wandering.
exhausted from trying and trying.”
that’s the absolute rawest way I can put it. Some days, this is how I wake up. Some days this is how I go to sleep. Some days I battle this consistently throughout the day.
I cried out, I need you. I need you. I need you. I can’t do this on my own. I need you.
The beautiful, desperate truth is, that I can’t do life on my own. I can’t honor God without His help. That morning, the scriptures I read might often be compared and positioned as complete opposites, but I might suggest that they are not all that different.
Lamentations 2:11-12
“I have cried until the tears no longer come; my heart is broken. My spirit is poured out in agony as I see the desperate plight of my people. Little children and tiny babies
are fainting and dying in the streets. They cry out to their mothers, “We need food and drink!” Their lives ebb away in the streets like the life of a warrior wounded in battle. They gasp for life as they collapse in their mothers’ arms.”
That particular morning, this was a little bit of how I was feeling: desperate.
Psalm 103:1-5
“Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!”
Then, I read this passage, I asked myself: will you praise the Lord even still? Before you feel provided for? Before you feel taken care of? Before you feel any change at all? Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that I will. I will praise in my desperation. I will praise Him in my anxiety. I will praise because of how far God has brought me and because of who He is- NOT because I understand my circumstances.
So, to bring this full circle, desperation is the key theme here. Well, not quite. Maybe the key theme is worship. I really think it’s both.
When you’ve got nothing left to do. No quick-fix for the circumstances you’re in. And might I even say, a broken heart, then where do you go from there?
w o r s h i p!!!!
But back to where we began for a quick minute. The picture I received in Convo.
A river. A big DEEP flowing river.
minor sidenote: one of my most favorite wonders of creation are rivers. but I love the deepest rivers are the quietest. sometimes, the most important things we choose to do in life, are actually the quietest.
I heard the words, “take it to the river. let some stuff go.”
aka all that heaviness from earlier that morning.
our worship is what creates these rivers. If you’ve ever noticed, it’s really difficult to stop in the middle of something and simply let it go. But worship creates rivers. Worship creates a ready heart that will actually let go of what’s heavy and throw it into the river.
so, throw it into the river.
whatever it is.
sins.
fears.
scars.
questions.
watch the water break.
and see grace take it away.
RIVERS OF LIFE.
RIVERS OF REVIVAL.
RIVERS OF HOPE.
RIVERS OF LOVE.
RIVERS. RIVERS. RIVERS.
Not only this, though. What God has asked me to do is throw my worries; the weight of the world on my shoulders, into the river. BUT TO THEN get in the water. Throw my nets I’ve been holding onto aside. To stop fishing for blessings, and just be in the blessing. To love His presence and love what he has given me. When immersed in worship, I lack nothing. I don’t need to look for those prayers to be answered with desperation in my heart, they already are. All I have to do is be and worship. I’m immersed in blessing when I’m immersed in worship.
So lastly,
Today happens to be Easter Sunday, and because of the resurrection, we are far removed from our circumstances and in the safety of the heart of God. All your prayers have been answered. All your healing has been sealed. All your fears have been shattered. All your impossible circumstances have been broken through. It’s all been sealed and finished, once and for all. All that “death crap” that intrudes on our lives, is actually back there in the grave. So, PRAISE GOD. That’s a victory mindset right there. Abundant life claimed.
My prayer is that you’ll put down your nets, with no need to fish for blessing or be desperate to provide and fix. To live in the blessing of where you are, out of what He has already provided, and be where God has placed you right now. You are provided for. You don’t have to be desperate. I pray you’ll see this make a change in your heart.
Jump in the water of ever-flowing grace. Make rivers of worship today.
Happy Resurrection Day!
ALL MY LOVE,
brooke.
