An update for all of my family, friends, and supporters, in short, I will not be going on the World race right now.
This is genuinely the hardest things I’ve ever had to say no to.
I was so beyond ready to pour out my heart on the world through World race; to live with my family that is squad B for nine whole months. If you read my last blog (which you should), then you’ll better understand just how much I love them and how life changing training camp was for me. I was ready for this radical spiritual journey.
But, the Lord has other plans. Those plans mean not going on the World race right now.
I’m not sure why. I’m not sure what God is doing and I am tender right now. BUT, I know my Father has gone before me and somehow, this is no surprise to him. I know his heart and He did not bring me here to hurt me. He actually wants to heal me even more. He simply loves me too much to not give me the absolute best. HE HAS SOMETHING BETTER PLANNED. Its not a “no,” it’s just a “not yet.” Something deeper; something different has to happen first.
Of course I am hurting and it’s hard to actually feel that right now, but I’m trying to. I’m trying to look at this as a redirection in the course of my life that for some heavenly reason, had to take place. And I’m trying to see this as an opportunity to have the biggest “YES, JESUS” in my spirit for whatever is next.
So, what is next? And what happens to all the money I’ve raised?
I will be doing the World race with a different squad in either January or next September. I’m not sure how God is planning to use this time or what kind of doors He will open, but whatever it is, He still has my yes. I am also going to Kenya on a mission trip in 9 days. My YES still stands firm. I am not afraid of the open space before me, because I know God’s heart is to heal me and love me and give me rest.
So, yes. My B squad family will be launching and heading to Swaziland in 7 weeks. I will not be going with them. And that breaks my heart. Because these people ARE my family. They have shown me more of Christ and taught me more about the Body of Christ than I’ve ever known or experienced before.
Thank you, B Squad. For covering me in love. encouraging my like crazy. laughing, crying, and sharing tents with me. thank you for providing me deodorant and hand sanitizer and sleeping arrangements. for listening so well and serving wholeheartedly and generously. for sharing your God stories. for cuddling me and receiving all the deep deep love I have for each of you. thank you for crying with me when I had to walk away from the best opportunity I’ve had in my life thus far. You’ll always always have such a deep and special place in my heart. you’ve changed my life and set such a high standard for the community I want in my life through the Body of Christ. I can’t begin to explain the excitement and expectancy I have for how God will use you in the next year. Know that each of you, by name, and covered in my prayers.
Thank you, AIM Leadership for stewarding my journey with prayer and guidance, loving on me, and giving me the opportunity to honor you and be called higher in my personal standards for representing Christ. Thank you for investing in me and being in my corner, even when it didn’t always feel comfortable or easy for me to understand. Thank you for hugging me on hard days and putting so much prayer and passion into leading our squad. You have influenced me so much and I can’t wait for you to watch the fruit of all your shared wisdom grow in my life and on the field. See you in Gainesville again soon! The hugs are coming for you!
That’s all. Feel free to text or email me any questions. Pray for this journey as I look to God for what’s next.
-Brooke
