Since I was five years old, I have always had passions and dreams of what I would do when I grew up. As I got older there was this phrase that stuck with me called “the 10 year plan”. I began to sculpt a lot of what my future would look like through the lens of trying to plan out 10 years of my life.
Where did that get me? Not where I thought, thats for sure!
See one of the best things about our Father is he doesn’t ask us to plan out 10 years of our life, he doesn’t ask us to worry about whats next. He actually says the complete opposite.
Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body.”
I love that God has a sense of humor because over the years of things I’ve planned, or have tried at least, have not fanned out even the slightest. But its sooo sooo good because the honest truth is God actually does know best, whether we want to buy into that fully or not. He knows better then we do.
Here on the race, our squad mentor has something imaginary called “ future box”. Now that month 11 is here we each have our own future boxes that we “open” daily and pray for.
I think its a fair to say all 34 of us are feeling pressure of whats next to some extent. For some, the future is clear, for others its unknown. The future box can be intimediating to open at times. The last 11 months we have had a rough idea of whats to come. What country we would be going to, what ministry we would be partnered with, these things were planned for us. These 11 months we’ve been able to function in a way that has allowed us to be stress free not having to think of the future. Our jobs, past school courses, its all been put on hold for this journey we’ve endured on with the Lord. But now its here.
The final month.
The race will end.
Its almost like my body and brain knows its ending and some parts go into a little bit of hyper speed freak out mode to plan the next 10 years. I can’t even grasp the next year! Its not that we have purposely put pressure on ourselves to figure out the next part of the adventure, but there is almost this sense of expectation. Expectation from friends and family, expectation from our own selves to know exactly what we are doing after the world race ends, almost to be like Sarah or Rebekah in Genesis.
In the book of Genesis, both of these woman took matters into their own hands with a lack of trust to the Lord, and a lack of patience to wait on the Lords plans and blessings. Through both of their circumstances they had learned lessons a little bit of the hard way, instead of just resting in Gods goodness that he had already revealed the plans for their futures.
The expectation to have it all figured out the moment we touch down in America is too high. Most of us don’t even know what we will be doing a month from now.
One concept I have learned through the race is the “open hands” policy.
Live with open hands.
Live with flat hands.
Put your future in your hands, then open them and hold your hands out flat.
Picture that imagery.
Because what happens when you do that? You remove the expectation of having to know it all. You turn it freely to the Lord to give, take away, adjust, and readjust over and over and over again.
This concept has been hard for me. Not just with my future, but many areas of my life. But Ive learned that when I do this, I start to see through the eyes of the Holy Spirit for whats best for my life, not just what I think I know.
So, whats next for me? What will I do after the race ends? What are my plans?
Well funny you should ask that because I thought I had my little future box all full of plans until I decided to open it and give it to my Father and watch him rearrange it all. So actually i honestly don’t know what is next, I don’t have every detail planned out.
As of right now, I will be taking an extra month right after the race, actually the same day we land in the states to head to Canada. Then towards the end of September I will head back to California and work until The Lord moves me else where for what is next. I will probably attend school in the spring semester to pursue criminal justice and youth. That is about all I got for whats to come and for someone who has spent years always stressing about whats next, Ive found more freedom and joy not knowing every detail right now and letting the Lord guide me.
I have realized on this 11 month journey that there is a way bigger picture to life then planning the future or worrying about where Ill live or what Ill do in life. As long as I can always share the gospel with the lost, live out my passions the Lord has given me, then I am more then content, I am more then filled up.
The worship song called “Where you go” is what I want for my life.
“where you go, ill go
where you’ll stay, ill stay
I will follow you”
One of my squad mates did listening prayer for each of us. Heres what mine said:
“As you seek to find a path and answer life’s questions remember “man has nothing better under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given. Ecclesiasles 8:15”
Thats it. Thats how simple it is. I just want to go wherever the Lord goes, be joyful through him, go wherever he calls me for the purpose of his kingdom.
P.S. The Lord is funny, I was praying for my future this morning and looked up at the top of my journal and this verse was there. Thanks Jesus!
