Parent vision trip.
Every squad has the opportunity to invite parents to come and experience the world race with them for a few days during a certain month.
Rewind to Africa
Invites come out
I really wanted my parents to come so i decided to invite them.
I was anxious of just the thought of my parents coming and seeing me, let alone experiencing this “new” person I have become with the Lord.
When one of my parents turned down the invite, I couldn’t believe it.
“Why wouldn’t you want to come see your daughter after 9 months?”
Rejected.
Hurt.
Abandoned.
All the feels when they told me they weren’t going to come.
As time went on, I allowed myself to let the enemy steal my joy for my other teammates. I couldn’t figure out how to celebrate them when their parents committed to coming.
I wanted to, but I just couldn’t do it. And I honestly wasn’t trying hard enough to have a heart change to be able to celebrate them.
My anger towards the rejection I had felt wrapped me up in so much jealousy, I put that wall up with the Lord all throughout the middle months of my race.
But then a shift happened. I had this revelation a few months back of coming to a point in my life that if I were to die tomorrow and go to heaven, I would hope I would never die of anger towards someone in my heart. I don’t want that. From that moment on, the Lord began to shift my focus off myself and onto others around me.
Luke 6:25 talks about loving our enemies. I have spent a lot of time digging myself into that scripture trying to actually figure out what godly love towards someone we consider not a friend means. At the time, my parent felt like enemy and I knew I didn’t want to have any more anger.
I knew there was such a bigger piece to this Pvt week then my parents not coming.
Malawi into Ukraine and into month 8 debrief I had a complete 180! Praise God!
This joy that he has been teaching and showing me along the way in this season was developing more and more. I could sit and listen to my teammates and squadmates talk about their parents coming and slowly not feel any anger or sadness about my parents not coming.
It was so beautiful just all of the peace I felt.
This month came and I told them I wanted to celebrate along side them as best as I knew how.
Fast forward to week 2 in Romania.
Our AMAZING host Raul invited me to stay for the pvt week when he found out I would be jointing my other squad mates who would be at another ministry site during the time the parents of the some of the racer would be here.
First thoughts: “heck no techno!”
I didn’t say that out loud but I sure was thinking it. I told our host I would pray on it. As I was praying the only thing I kept hearing from the Lord was “serve.”
My initial reaction was well I can serve my host in other ways besides having to stay for the pvt week.
God had other plans, like usual. He wanted me to be confident in the heart change he had made through me since Africa.
Check out part 2 of this blog..
