This is a very trying time for me. I'm going through major Spiritual Warefare that's pounding me to my knees. Our deadline is coming up (and I'm significantly short), I'm facing major emotional beat downs from everything around me, and I miss home. I guess u can say I've started my race and am in the thick of it already, ha. Is this, my preview Lord? I have to say, I feel defeated almost everyday. I know the right words, the perfect scriptures, and the right biblical cliches but they aren't penetrating right now. Truth be told, I'm questioning everything I thought I heard from God. Was I suppose to go left rather than right? What I suppose to climb up or stoop down? If I'm not careful, my mind will question every direction I have received…..even The Race. It's sunny and beautiful outside right now. There's natural beauty all around me but tumultuous winds brew inside me. The sea is raging and I'm starting to sink. How do I keep my eyes on my Lord when I feel the force of the sea itching to dragging me down, devour, and destroy me. I pray and pray hard. That's all I have strength to do right now.
an excerpt from a poem I wrote called "Peace Be Still"
"I try my hardest to breathe My chest tightens My pulse race and My eyes fill,
…. I paint my face with contentment A fake smile,
hum a worn out song, and white knuckle a scripture for sanity….
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication,
with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God……"
"Peace….Be still"
" My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Brooke
