Beyonce is Black?

The other day, it all came together.  I had one of those mornings where I just wanted to be at home and couldn’t get out of bed.  We had a full day of ministry and a youth conference at the church.  We had worship with the teens and others in the church first.  During worship, I decided to try this whole thankfulness preceding blessing deal.  So, I starting speaking all the things I was grateful for at the time and what I knew was to come.  I was thankful to be in Africa, to have little kids pulling at me as I prayed, thankful to have family I missed; and went on and on for as long as I could. 

It wasn’t long until, surprise surprise, the blessings flooded in and I had one of my favorite ministry days of the race!  Dancing with the women, having the beautiful orphans fight to hold my hand during the sermons, and sharing my popcorn and peanuts with kids who have never even tried either before all became gifts.  Then, I found out how to bring real joy to others- through music.  Some of the high school girls at the boarding school and I have bonded and love to dance and sing.  They don’t have computers, radios, or anything and just know songs they have heard from in town when they are out of school.  I had my ipod with me and that ended up being the biggest blessing of all.

Sitting with girls, some boys, and even one little one and listening to all kinds of music was one of my favorite memories so far this year.  It’s hard to imagine the joy in putting a little earbud in your ear and hearing Josh Groban or Beyonce, but imagine not even knowing that Beyonce isn’t white.  For about 4 hours that day, I sat until the battery was drained and watched faces light up and voices sing familiar songs. 

Of course, that night, I went home and had probably the toughest night on race.  On this day of extremes, I wrestled with God and why he was teaching me this gratefulness in all things.  I knew I had the choice to go back to my old ways of being angry for not having the blessings I desired, but I can’t say I’ve seen much fruit in that.  Instead, I stuck with what I’d seen work, and got back to the list- thankful for internet, thankful for my teammate Olivia, thankful for the sound of cows and geese outside…and it went on.  Self-pity and fear fled and peace and joy took over as I realized that I had Christ’s strength and gifts to fight anything I was hurt, scared, or up against.

So being thankful before receiving the blessings can bring joy like this?  Is that what I am here to learn?

“because you know that the testing of faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
-James 1:4

I guess I just wanted you to know that I am still counting, still thankful and that wasn’t just some seasonal blog.  I encourage you to count yours too, even before you have the joy you are looking for.