Early on Saturday morning I shared with my squad that I was struggling to find inspiration for my blog and asked them to pray for the Holy Spirit’s inspiration.
Two and a half hours later, I was sitting on the floor of my tiny apartment surrounded by stuff I’ve accumulated over the past two years of living in Korea and watching Sweet Home Alabama – one of my favourite romantic comedies. It’s a story about two children who grow up together, fall in love, and break-up. The girl moves away and meets someone new. They are just about to get married when she realizes that she still loves her childhood boy—music swells—and; happy ending, they end up getting back together. I found myself thinking, “I wish this would happen to me. Why can’t I meet someone?”
A One Direction song popped into my head and I started singing the lyrics, “I want someone to love me for who I am.” For the longest time, I have longed for the day when I will find someone I can share my life with. While I was sitting there and wondering—for the thousandth time—if, or when, I am going to meet this person—I heard Jesus say to me: “Bronwyn, I love you for who you are.”
I started crying; I wept because I was filled to overflowing with truth and love and couldn’t help but feel awed by the love of God who sent His Son to die for me. As I was weeping I was reminded of every Scripture that speaks of Jesus being all that I need. I heard the words of God telling me, “I am a new creation”(2 Corinthians 5:17), that in Him I am made completely new, and that I am His child (Ephesians 1:5) and I was reminded that I am safe in Christ and that my worth comes from Him. I was reminded of the love of God that is beyond my understanding and that there is nowhere I can go to escape from His love. Romans 8:37-39 is one of my favourite Scriptures and I felt Jesus reminding me of those words: He knows everywhere I go, everything I do and every thought I have—there is absolutely nowhere I can go to escape from His love and there is nothing that I can do to make Him stop loving me! I listened to God’s words telling me that HE wants to be involved in my life, and has a plan for me: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
I thought of how often I enter social settings with anxiety; worrying about what I will say and what people will think of me. I reflected on how often I feel inadequate; that I’m no good at anything and have nothing to offer.
I cried and cried and cried.
As I cried, I felt the words of Jesus washing over me and these truths began to move further from being just knowledge in my head to being a deeper truth in my heart. I felt such comfort and healing as I began to rest in the knowledge that I am loved by God—no matter what! Once I stopped crying, I started to talk to Jesus:
“Jesus, thank you for loving me. Thank you for always loving me. Thank you that you will never stop loving me. You are the best friend, mentor, confidante and partner, I could ever have. Jesus, please change me, so that as I meet with people, I would begin to show them your love. Thank you, that you value and love me. I know that you are all I need, and I want you more than anything.”
So, to you that read this, please know that I am praying that the living Jesus will touch your heart, as he did mine, with this truth:
You are valuable to Jesus too. May you understand, or remember, that Jesus is all you need.
