For a long time it feels like I have been in what you might call a ‘dry spell’ with hearing from the Lord. I feel like I hear from Him, but not as clearly as I would like and sometimes I feel like I am crying out for Him and there is no response. But last night, during an unexpected worship session on our living room floor; I heard from the Lord – loud and clear, and I was overwhelmed with His peace.
Let me fill you in on my day yesterday to give you a bit of background.
On Wednesday night after our team time I went to bed with an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew there was something that the Lord wanted me to say, that He was speaking to me and that He wanted me to share this feedback with my team. I shied away. I chose not to do it. But the nagging feeling didn’t go away, I knew that I would have to share what was on my heart. So, I did what I would often do back home when I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed by something, I put on Grey’s Anatomy and had a binge watching marathon until 3am coupled with a bowl of ramen noodles at 1:30am (hello emotional eating).
The next morning we attended a Thai traditional ceremony at our school, where teachers are honoured and paid respect by their students. The whole time I had this nagging feeling about what I knew I had to say to my team. After the ceremony, the opportunity finally presented itself, I was able to say what I needed to say. It was hard – but I said it, I got it out there and I know I did the right thing.
Another part of my journey on the Race, is the role that I play as treasurer. This is somewhat stressful in and of itself, but it is a role that I have (mostly) enjoyed doing. It becomes even more stressful when you have to make hard decisions and be the bearer of bad news to your team, sometimes I feel like the Grinch who stole Christmas. And I was put into that position yesterday.
So, all around I felt like the day had been a rough one. Also, I was exhausted thanks to the previous night’s binge watching marathon – exhaustion and over-emotional do not go well hand in hand.
Then, the real cherry on top, and this is where I am going to be absolutely open and brutally honest about some of the embarrassingly cringe-worthy moments that happen on the race. We do not have access to wi-fi from the house where we are staying, but we can walk over to our school and get wi-fi there. I went up to the office to Skype with my grandpa. As soon as I got up to the office my stomach instantly decided that it was not happy, and I knew what was about to happen….the only option was to use the students bathroom behind the office, everything else was closed. Now, if you know anything about Asia, you will know that the most common toilet you are going to find is the squatty potty (I am a pro at these by now, so that wasn’t really the problem). The problem was that they do not use toilet paper, they also do not have bidets. What they do have is a trough-like basin next to the squatty potty that is filled with water. You can imagine the rest.
So, once I got back to our house I was feeling pretty defeated by the day and was totally ready to just crawl into bed and go to sleep. I didn’t realize that three of my teammates were having an impromptu worship session in the living room, and so instead of going to bed I decided to go and join them.
As I was sitting there, worshipping the Lord, I started to cry and I heard God’s voice so clearly in my heart. I heard – “Today was a good day. It might not have been a good day by your definition – but do you feel that peace inside your heart? My peace. You feel my peace more right now because of your faithfulness – you did what I asked you to do. Compare how you feel right now to a day that you consider a great day, but where you haven’t acted in faithfulness to my will….The more you faithfully follow me, the more you listen and obey – the more you will feel my peace and my joy…and the more every day will become a good day. Despite the circumstances.”
So, here’s a challenge for you:- Are you seeking more peace and joy in your life? Are you wondering why you aren’t hearing from the Lord? Perhaps, He is asking you to step out in faithfulness. To be brave. To say and do the things that He calls us to do each and every day. No matter how big or small.
We pray that you’ll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us. (My italics)
– Colossians 1:1–12 (The Message)
I don’t know about you, but I want to make the Master proud and I want to have joy and strength to take part in every beautiful thing that He has planned for my life. I know that it is not about earning God’s favor, and I know that I am loved, accepted and that God is proud of me even when I don’t act faithfully or do the things He calls me to do. Because He is the God of grace and mercy and we are saved by grace not through our own works. But I also know that He came to give us ABUNDANT life and that requires action and faithfulness on my part.
