I’m sure many of you have heard the catchphrase that I used as the title of my blog. And it so very accurately describes what I have had to fight to do every morning so far. We arrived in Madagascar almost two weeks ago, and it has felt like a lot longer.
This is the first time that a WR squad has ever been to Madagascar, so we came in with no expectations of what we might find. The truth is that this is a very difficult place to be in. There is a spirit of heaviness, oppression and apathy in the air and it has affected each and every one of us in different ways. We have also been exposed to a lot of things, there is a lot of poverty and a lot of injustice going on around us and so it can be incredibly taxing on your emotions.
My team and I are serving in a church in a very poverty stricken area, and we have had the opportunity to teach English, have worship and games with kids, lead Bible studies and speak to and pray with some people in the community.
However, for most of the last week, most of my team (in fact half the squad) has been sick, with what we think was strep throat. So for the first 3 full days of ministry, we only had two of us on our team who were not sick. On Monday night people already started showing signs of being sick, but I went to bed thinking I felt hopeful and prepared for the next day. But when I woke up on Tuesday morning, within half an hour of being awake I was crying “I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this”
The same thing happened on Wednesday morning, except I actually woke up thinking “Lord, please can I be sick today?” and within the same breathe I was horrified with myself for thinking that, when this is essentially what I signed up for, and so told myself (with tears still running down my cheeks) to get my butt up, get dressed and get out the door. It was tough.
Thursday morning started the same, and by this point I was getting really frustrated with myself for feeling this way every morning. As it turned out I wasn’t the only one feeling this way, as I discovered later that day when we had an all squad get together and actually spoke to each other about how we were all feeling.
I wish I could end this blog with some profound spiritual insight into what I have been going through. But instead I just want to share with you the importance of just getting up, getting dressed and showing up. I have wanted to just lie in bed all day everyday since I got here – but I have forced myself to get up because I believe that God has called me here for a purpose and that I won’t allow my emotions to get in the way of that.
So my encouragement to you, is “Get up, dress up and show up”. It may feel pointless, but there is a blessing from God when we step out in faithfulness.
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Side note: A few days after writing this blog, I got sick…with a terrible tummy bug. The Lord has been teaching me a lot through it all. Look out for a blog in the next few weeks.
