Hello Friends!
As a Racer with a significant other, I am in the vast minority on my squad (read: 2 out of 46).
Going on the Race while in a relationship has been a pretty cool way to experience God work on both of us separately, but for the same Kingdom purposes.
I asked my boyfriend, Mitchell, if he’d write a bit about what his experience of the Race has been like, because I know I’ve loved hearing how the Race has indirectly or directly affected him and his relationship with Christ this year.
I hope you enjoy and find encouragement in his thoughts, as I have!
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I’m not a runner, but my girlfriend is a Racer.
So who am I? My name is Mitchell Cabrigas. Currently, I am greatly blessed and honored to call Brittni Wisner my girlfriend. A couple weeks ago she asked for my perspective on the impact the World Race has had on me, our relationship and my faith. I was stoked to give it a whirl.
Brittni first mentioned the Race as we were sitting on couches in the Housing Lodge TV room. I’d thought it was a simple evening during our freshman year.
I pondered the WR: ministering to others, the places I would see, the experiences God would lead me to. At the time, I could see it: the inextinguishable, fiery passion of a faithful servant.
However, it wasn’t in me, but in the girl on the other couch.
Brittni Wisner was going places.
*Fast forward two years*
At some point, I gained enough courage to ask Brittni to be my girlfriend during our junior year of college. After all the dodging of feelings, playful banter and internal doubts I finally was dating my best friend (happy to share the details, just ask 🙂 ).
And then she said it: “I think I still want to apply for the World Race.”
My mind was rattled and it turned into sulking. We JUST started dating! And now you want to leave me?! Come on!
In my mind, I didn’t want her to go. But outwardly, it was a smile and nod. I swiftly started to brainstorm ways to possibly go with her or encourage her to do something less extensive, like YWAM.
Eleven freaking months with questionable communication sounded way too difficult. Long-distance is hard enough without added complications of inconsistent Wi-Fi/text messaging. Honestly, I was sad. I prayed. All of that angst quickly melted away. I was overwhelmed by a peace and was revealed this thought: Even before I was introduced into Brittni’s life, she was introduced to the World Race.
The missions trip wasn’t an obstacle in Mitchell’s plans, but how I was acting was becoming one in God’s plans. Brittni would always belong to the Lord and it is a man’s calling to be leading toward Him. With the sobering reminder and that comforting peace, all my efforts moved toward assisting Brittni emotionally, financially and prayerfully for her 11-month ministry.
I think that men often want to be heroes. They want to save the day, fix problems and defend/aid those who are struggling. It feels good. It feels right. As Brittni’s August 2016 launch grew nearer, I felt many heroic victories in helping her prepare -from donating money; to telling others about her Race; to cheering her through college finals. I wanted to do all that I could for Brittni. It was all too exciting to see her envisioning what the Race would be like.
Little did I know my heroism would cease when I said farewell to my girlfriend as she disappeared through airport security.
Humility replaced heroism.
Not being physically near Brittni meant that I was limited. For the next 11 months, I could not save the day. I could not give her a comforting hug in hard times. I could not share the experiences with her. I could not be the hero.
My sense of heroism revealed my self-will, whereas humility revealed God’s will. God consistently broke my pride; He kept showing me how much I couldn’t do for Brittni, reminding me that I was man and he was Lord. That was the overarching theme throughout my spectatorship. I was here in Juneau, Alaska and God was with Brittni every moment of every day, guiding, teaching and protecting her.
On the communication front, it was never consistent. Sometimes we’ve been able talk every day or every few days. A couple times she didn’t have Wi-Fi all month, but she could use another racer’s texting phone (thank you shout out to Esther Song).
I was grateful when I could talk to her, but in the lull of silent days, my mind wandered. Was she hurt? Will she come back?
Is there an Irish missionary sweeping her off her feet?
You know, normal feelings.
God is good. I prayed for strength, faith and peace regarding my worries. This circled back to humility. Once again, humility became the banner of command for me: God loves and cares for your significant other infinitely more than you ever could. At the end of Ephesians 3, I was reminded how incomprehensible God’s love is. So what was I actually worried about? As I attempted to conceptualize God’s deep love for both of us, the worries floated away.
In conversing with friends and colleagues, the topic would commonly shift to Brittni’s Race. And I loved talking about Brittni and what she was doing on the Race. It was like I was her walking blog.
While people would comment, “that’s such a long time to be separated,” “it’s almost over,” or “it will breeze by,” God’s peace reigned over me in every conversation. I didn’t get hung up on missing her (don’t get me wrong, I appreciated the sympathy. It was comforting to be surrounded by so many encouraging people).
On the other hand, there were times I wasn’t in the company of Christian friends. And it was in those moments where Brittni’s ministry indirectly brought an opportunity for truth.
I went to Anchorage for two months attending apprenticeship school for telecommunications. Many of my classmates were not Christians and had a different set of values. As small talk goes, I would bring up Brittni and the WR. It baffled some of them that a couple would willingly choose to be separated for 11 months. This would usually lead to the real reason for choosing the Race: serving God and spreading Jesus’ redemptive message. Faith conversations continued to stem from there. It was great! It was cool to see the Race having an impact even in places I was in. There was a unique individual that would ask, “how many days?” Of course, they were referring to how long it was until Brittni came back. Not that anyone was counting (45 days), but I was strengthened in another area during this long-distance relationship: I was taught patience.
Recognizing our very different environments has taught me to be patient and have grace with Brittni. My environment is the same. The work schedule, the people, and the setting are all familiar. For Brittni, it is always changing. Living situations, relationships, and surroundings are constantly shifting for her. There is certainly a disconnect in experience. Brittni would talk about someone or something without any prologue or context. And I would do the same. Sometimes I failed to understand her thought processes. Facebook messages were often miscommunicated. All those inevitable struggles came with the long-distance. Practicing patience was a necessity.
From the perspective of the one who stayed, pursuing a long-distance relationship is a difficult road and a lot of heartbreak could happen without being able to work through issues face-to-face. You will find out just how much idolize your significant other. You will wrestle with loneliness and worry.
But is it possible? Yes, of course.
For me, I cannot look back at any episode and not see Christ at the heart of it. Peace didn’t come without trials, humility without pride, and patience without stress. It was just as much an opportunity for me to grow in my faith as it was for Brittni. These learned lessons were all implemented in other areas of my life. Recognizing God’s presence in our long-distance relationship has been of utmost importance.
A few summers ago, a fellow student asked me, “what is it about Brittni that you find the most attractive?” Without hesitation, I responded, “Brittni’s faithfulness.”
Because her faithfulness means she is a servant. She has a desire to minister to the world and cultivate a relationship with her creator. This is the most attractive quality I see in Brittni. And to encourage and support her dreams in that? There is no greater calling for me as her boyfriend.
This season, a humbled boyfriend lets the Almighty God lead a faithful girlfriend. From Côte d’Ivoire to Guatemala, I’ve seen that the Holy Spirit follows this squad of racers, protecting and strengthening them. Reading and hearing Brittni speak of forwarding God’s kingdom has been encouraging, from each corner of the world to my post on the sidelines.
