What holds you back? That is the question that kept playing in my mind. It was a morning during our squad debrief in Nepal. The night before I had watched people go up in front of our whole squad and get so much freedom from speaking truths, being vulnerable about weaknesses, from asking for prayer, to cutting off their hair. It was incredible and it was so moving. The whole time I thought… I need to go up there I NEED to say something, but I felt like I was paralyzed. I was too scared to go up and speak. Ever since the beginning of the race the Lord has pulled on my heart to speak truth over myself but not just out loud to myself or to my team but in front of the squad… the WHOLE squad. He had given me many chances like this night to do it but I never took them. Fear crippled me from doing what God wanted me to. So often this has happened in my life… FEAR. Fear of what though? I realized it was fear of REJECTION. The enemy has tried to keep this over me for a long time, and he has been successful in doing it a lot of the time. While God has grown me a lot and I am walking in freedom in many things, this was still something I had held on to. Freedom is a choice. God wanted me to take an action to gain freedom and bring it to fruition, but I wouldn't do it. After the session and worship were over I went back to my room defeated like so many times before. I told a friend though how I felt like I should have gone up and said something and she told me she felt the same and hadn't either. It was then I knew the Lord was going to give me another chance. I didn't know how soon it would be. Turns out it was the next morning. Geez God that was fast : ) So the question asked that morning at session was: what is holding you back from what God has for you? Then she gave time for the Lord to speak to us… no problem … I already knew what needed to be done I sat for a while again trying to get up the nerve to speak. The friend who I had spoken to the previous night finally got up and shared what she told me the Lord had put on her heart the night before …CRAP now I KNOW I REALLY need to get up there. After she was done I stand up and move towards the front. I can't believe I am doing this. I get up and with hands and legs shaking I share how the devil had kept me in fear for far to long and I am done with it and I am moving forward in confidence and freedom. Short and sweet, but a BIG victory for me. I instantly felt so light and at peace when I sat down. I DID IT! I am unhindered and I am free. When God says move… MOVE when God says speak… SPEAK When He tells you to do something crazy just DO IT!
No fear.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power love and of a sound mind
