Let’s get vulnerable! I have spent a lot of time lying to my friends, lying to my loved ones, lying to my team, lying to my squad, and lying to myself. So I’ve spent some time writing a spoken word piece. Here it is “Forgive me for lying.“

Forgive Me For Lying

Excuse me as I sit and pour out my heart to you

The weight of the world has always been on my shoulders

Not from circumstance, but due to choice

See I could have walked a straight and narrow path and I definitely knew better

However the grass was always greener on the other side

What did you expect when roses didn’t grow in my desolate land

So excuse me, forgive me for lying

For pretending that I had it all together

and that somewhere in my heart I thought I was always better

Yep BETTER than all the rest of you

Freedom was in close proximity but still so far away

The Spirit dwelled in me but I never took the time to listen

The way I was living meant that Jesus’ blood was shed for me in vain

So again, forgive me for lying

 For pretending that things didn’t bother me and that I was too good to get my feelings hurt

That’s the way Uh Huh Uh Huh I LIKED IT

Paul’s words “you shine as lights in the world” didn’t radiate into me

My heart wasn’t as pure as I portrayed it to be

Satan’s army was camped outside my house and I just let them in

I was a dead woman walking pretending I had no other option

Yea, Forgive me for lying

 I was wandering like a zombie just going through the motions

Sensors went off every time I walked into a room

I was afraid of where the Lord would take me

I was afraid of freedom because all I have ever known was fear

Using trust issues as a way to stay in bondage

Running from my purpose and calling

Excuse me, forgive me for lying

Truth is what I have been is

Inconsistent

Full of unforgiveness

Selfish

Self-Righteous

Distracted

Self-Centered

Unteachable

Unapproachable

Unaccountable

Lustful

Prideful

Judging

Controlling

Angry

Living a double life

Lukewarm

Gossip-filled

Worrisome

Bitter

Forgive me for lying 

Thing is His blood was shed for my REDEMPTION

His Hands. His Feet. Were nailed to a CROSS

I may mess up repeatedly but the Lord still LOVES ME

I still radiate in the light of the SON

He’s still actively PURSUING me daily

So I don’t need to be afraid because my Creator didn’t make any MISTAKES WITH ME

Forgive me for being Honest 

The honest truth is I can’t believe that no one else feels this way

That no one is disappointed in the decisions that they’ve made

It’s time to stop living with distorted eyes

As if we are blind to the things that the Lord requires of us

Living in LIGHT instead of darkness

I can’t be the only person that’s TIRED of living a LIE

So Excuse Me, I can’t be the only person lying


***Maybe I’ll get the courage to actually perform this piece. Thanks for reading***