Uncertain
In South Africa we were partnered with an organization called LIV Village. It’s an organization that takes in abandoned, orphaned and neglected children, or children who’s family cannot support them. We were extremely excited for this as our last month’s ministry would be getting to play with children all day! However, for me, I think I built up too much of an expectation. I loved this month and this ministry, but it was difficult on one particular level.
It was difficult on the relational aspect of things. During our orientation we were told not to pick up the children and hold them and to be aware of how much physical contact we give them. The reasoning behind this, is so that there does not become relationship issues, heartbreaks and distrust. These are children that have been placed in a loving and safe home here, with a mother, brothers and sisters. They have been given a new family. Yet they have come from broken homes and have experienced loneliness, fear, and rejection. They’ve come to the village with baggage, wounds and scars.
They are in healing.
When short term volunteers come, respect and obedience are shown, relationships form and bonding occurs. The children look to you and expect to see you every day. Trust is built. You’re their friend, their playmate, you tickle them and they find safety and security in your lap. It doesn’t happen in a week necessarily, but in a month it does. Trust takes time. Then, when the time of volunteering is over, you leave, and they must go through the painful process of feeling rejected and abandoned again. Trust is broken and gone.
So how do you find the balance? Children need love, affection and attention. All of us girls love holding and cuddling children, letting them know we love them and they can find comfort in our arms. How can you not pick up a child that comes to you with open arms, or hold them on your lap during reading or a movie? I don’t have the answer. It’s an open ended question. What would you do?
