I am overwhelmed this morning by the goodness of God.
I am going to get real with you. Preparing to go on this trip and been hard. It has challenged me emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually. It has been a HUGE process and season of growth that I never imagined possible. It is like God is a surgeon and He is removing pieces of my life, my past, my identity… pieces of me… and replacing them with pieces of His love, His grace, His truth, His identity…HIM. It has been beautifully messy and it is so far from over.
Dealing with my past and the lies that have been burned into my mind for years has drained me emotionally. The battle that is raging inside of me to believe the promises of God over the lies of Satan is mentally, and emotionally exhausting. The financial strain that has come with this season of my life has been stressful. All of the exhaustion, discomfort, and stress have been growing me spiritually in ways that I have never before experienced in my life.
In it all I am constantly reminded that GOD IS SO GOOD! Hold on, let me say it one more time for those in the back. GOD IS SO GOOD!!! God has brought me to this place of brokenness, exhaustion, and pain and He is working it ALL for my good. This morning as I was fighting the lies the devil likes to throw at me God so clearly laid out a picture of answered prayer and of His provision in it. I could go back further, but let’s just look at the past couple weeks. God has answered my prayer for provision financially (not just in support raising, but in day to day life) through the love and generosity of friends. I am so incredibly humbled by the gifts I have received and so incredibly thankful for those that have helped and are helping me in this season. Through the love and emotional support of my frousin (friend and cousin) Ashley, who I am doing this amazing journey with, and of other close friends; He has answered prayers of what my next steps in this journey look like. (More to come on that in another blog soon!) He has answered relational prayers by placing amazing friends in my life that are willing to have the hard conversations, to press into the mess, speak truth, and be wonderful examples of God’s love and grace in my life. In looking at these answers to prayer God also pointed to the fact that these prayers weren’t always answered in the way I wanted, or hoped, but they were answered in a way….God’s way. Even as I sit here typing this blog He is showing me, once again, that His ways are better than my ways. In His provision He is caring for me in ways that I didn’t even know I needed. That, my friends, is a beautiful thing.
In all of this, God in His infinite grace has been guiding me to a place of total trust and surrender. I want to share with you a couple verses that have been on my mind the past few weeks.
“From the end of the earth I will call to you when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” ~Psalm 61:2
“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” ~Isaiah 41:13
I love the picture painted in these words. When I am overwhelmed the Lord reaches out, takes my hand, and leads me to the Rock and says “Do not fear; I will help you”. God doesn’t leave me alone in my struggles, my pain, and my questions. He takes my hand, tells me not to fear, and leads me through.
I would like to leave you with a little piece of encouragement. Wherever you are, whatever your struggle, whatever your battle, God is there reaching out His hand wanting to walk it with you. Give it to Him. Lay it at His feet in prayer, knowing He will answer and He will do what is best for you. He doesn’t leave us alone to pick up the pieces of life. He doesn’t promise that it won’t hurt, or that it won’t be hard. He does, however, gently whisper “Do not fear; I will help you.” Then He does just that, in a more beautiful way than we could ever imagine.
