God is real.
God is amazing.
My whole life I have been a “christian”, but I had no relationship with God. I was so numb to religion that God became just another word to me. I was blind to his power and glory. Although I never realized it, it didn’t change how he was constantly watching over me and moving in my life. I never understood and truthfully thought I never would understand God.
In the beginning of senior year, I applied to college and was ready to continue with the same life I was living in high school; then out of nowhere an ad for the World Race showed up on Facebook. Little did I know a Facebook ad was going to change the trajectory of my life. Well thank you Mark Zuckerberg for that one! But in all honesty God’s pursuit in my life just kept getting stronger. Ever since I saw that ad I kept getting this feeling that it was time to do something more and that I was missing something. At that time I had no idea that was the Holy Spirit guiding me to the next step in my journey.
Because of this feeling I had, I read up about the World Race. It felt like a calling, but at the time I was 17-year-old “Christian” applying to college. I would never think the Lord was calling me. Push came to shove and I applied for the Race. To my surprise, I got accepted. But my acceptance sat on the back burner and so when people asked what I was doing I would say going on a 9 month long mission trip, doing literally God knows what because I honestly had no idea what the World Race was.
Months later I go to training camp and the first few days I probably said I want to go home 100 times. It wasn’t until the fifth night when I called my sister, balling my eyes out crying, about how I don’t think I should be here and then on the other hand trying to describe the reason I hated it so much, but if you have been to training camp you can’t even put into words as to how much it really kills you. Anyways, off a feeling I hung up and just sat in the grass and straight up prayed for what felt like hours and was like, “God if you actually want me here now, give me a freaking sign.” At this point I was almost defeated and ready to hop in the first car I saw with AC. The next day was a sermon by Deon about the call of God, so here I am already like….”okay sure God I hear you”….and in the middle of the sermon a lady points to me and signals me to come over there, I like, “who is this random person!” and being myself, just annoyed because I was like, “okay God is preaching to me. I should really listen….”
It turns out this lady is his wife and she says I was just standing and the Lord told me to tell you “Sunflower”. I lost it. Tears at this point were running down my face like a freaking waterfall. I recently had a sunflower tattooed on my body which is my sister’s birth month flower. To me I understood God was talking through her to me. On the phone the day before my sister kept saying that if it was easy everyone would do it and pretty much reiterating that I am called to be there. And now God shows up with a sign of my sister.
That’s when I first understood God doesn’t always show up in the same way; He is everywhere and shows up in so many different ways. My mind had officially been changed in that moment and opened up to the amazing things God has to offer if you open your eyes to Him. Ever since this moment, God shows up just about everywhere I turn. He is changing my outlook on life and leading me to become a more firm believer. It’s been incredible. As the months went by, God has been molding me, influencing me, and helming me to find my purpose. Over the weekend I have decided to do a food fast to get uncomfortable and see what God has for me. My end goal is pretty much to be able to talk to God and learn what He wants me to do next.
My team and I have recently started to work at this orphanage dealing with kids who suffer from HIV/AIDS. My heart breaks for these children and I kind of got into a funk because I knew I was leaving in three weeks and I kept asking the question, “how I can help them and what I can or what I should do to make these kids’ lives better?”
There have been four adoptions total in the past year which is amazing, but the realization hit me that most these kids will be stuck here and never know a different life. The smile on these kids’ faces breaks your heart to because they grew up so differently but just playing with them for five minutes will fill the room with joy and laugher. Anyways I did a fasting of food to pretty much say, “yo God, tell me exactly what to do.” So he didn’t speak words to me, but the message I received from prayer and the Bible lead to the conclusion to just make them laugh, smile, love, and cover them with prayer because God will do the rest. The next day of ministry I go to see the little boy who runs to me every time I get to there and refuses to walk places without holding my hand or forcing me to pick him up and he’s getting adopted. He is leaving about the same time I will be leaving and the fact that he is leaving and getting to experience a better life gives me a hope for the other kids. It’s encouraging to know that God will be there for them even after we leave.
Like I said, God works and if you let him in, then anyone will finally be able to see his wonders.
