When I think about expectations I think, “I expect this green paste to taste like guacamole� but am surprised when it’s mashed up peas or “I expect to go to ministry at 2 o’clock because that’s when we were told to be ready to go.� But I’m kept on my toes when we are not leaving until half past 4. These are expectations I could recognize and surrender. Expectations like that were the ones I…expected. Haha. However, I did not expect to deal with expectations that go much deeper than a bowl of green mush or the promptness of other cultures…what do people expect of me and how does that change my actions, what I allow myself to say, do, or even feel?
WOAH! Yeah, that’s what I said. The ministry this month has been a lot of preaching, it’s been a lot of beautiful African faces looking at us expecting a profound word from God, from the great white missionaries. I have news…I’m not worth the great welcome you give, I’m not worth your fattest goat to be killed, and I’m not worth the extravagance of your appreciations. I can only live, I can only love by the grace given to me by God. I LOVE to share the Word of God with these people but I am really no different from the men, women, and children I am talking to. I am a person who needs Jesus; I am a broken and needy pauper whom Christ has graciously picked up and given a glorious identity. I thank God that He simply expects me to come to Him and be. The other day my teammate Angela gave me this scripture and it really resonated with me…
Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who had previously had leprosy. While He was eating, a woman came in with a beautiful alabaster jar of expensive perfume and poured it on His head. The disciples were indignant when they saw this. “What a waste!� they said, “It could have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor.� But Jesus, aware of this, replied, “Why criticize this woman, for she has done a beautiful thing to me.�
Matthew 26:6-10
Thank you Father that You know me. That no matter how I am changing, how my dreams are changing, You know me. At the end of the day all that matters is what you say of my heart, I seek to do a beautiful thing to you, for you. Not to satisfy the expectations of any other.
